at odds with nonphysical stuff (still)

i think alot about how people verbally slight and attack, in life or in forums. it makes me realize that the same dynamics live in the written world, or social environments. more and more, i see the whole world in terms of a great negotiation of power, and all the small and large fights that contribute to the emerging food chain. it's nice to have codes and civility. to work with what, at times seems only the tip of the animal pyramid--were it not for our capacity to reason, and for our ability to disassociate long enough to analyze and make adjustments. whether for the good of mankind, or to achieve some form of homeostasis that leaves a better taste in our collective mouths.

when i was on the ashram, one of the swamis used to tell a story about a teacher that taught an entire lesson called, "DON'T ACCEPT THE GIFT".
it referred to an exchange between a teacher--who was local enough to elicite 'haters' he knew growing up that would show up to put him down. he had achieved a nice balance, and this was hard to accept from some who knew him previously. one day a particularly disrespectful person entered the meditation hall and spent a lengthy time slamming (verbally) the teacher. his students bristled. his top student was particularly incensed--eventually flying off the handle. the teacher just kept smiling, only once putting his student in his place. this really insensed the student. the heckler eventually left, not satisfyed by the lack of validation. the student predictably contronted his teacher saying all the things one might think he'd say, to include "why would you correct me? why didn't you stick up for yourself"

the teacher's response, "when someone brings you a gift you don't like, if you don't accept it...who gets the gift?"

it was a prescription on deflating the anger of an individual by letting him perform like a monkey and eventually feel unsatiated...leaving with the anger he came in with. half 'sent to coventry' style response, and half, 'this is your problem, not mine'.

i'm at odds sometimes sorting out persnickity-ness, and slights. half of me sees the value of treating it like a physical fight--directly (yet obviously verbally). the other half desires to just step back and watch the person masturbate--no real encounter, just a lone tantrum fizzled by the lack of response.

a matter of different terrain, and the most efficient weapons with which to engage. maybe even, 'the art of fighting without fighting'

[i]art of fighting without fighting'

systema!! muahahahah

Imp sure many of us have actually experienced a situation like this in our lives, weather it be with parents, siblings or friends. I feel it is extremely effective if you know that the situation will remain verbal.

I like to look at emotions very much in the same way as energy in physics, I was told once that energy will never go, but will only change state (Kinetic -> Electrical -> Heat etc), I think this applies very much in this situation. A strong emotion is displayed, in this case anger and it has nowhere to go, when the aggressor realises that what they are doing is ineffective and walk away to be alone, this anger is still there inside of them, and the only thing it can do is to change "state", this can lead to the aggressor changing the way they view the situation, making them remorseful for instance, in which case the "fight" is won.