FRUSTRATING ON 'OH' SO MANY LEVELS

...IN A WAY SORT OF A TIE IN TO THE BYSTANDER APATHY


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMIuG3HvV0Y

HOW DIFFERENTLY THIS ALL COULD HAVE GONE IF THE CROWD OF MEN
HAD--KNOWING THE BOGUS BUILD UP, ERM, CULTURALLY HAD SOME FRAME
OF REFERENCE FROM WHICH TO DRAW THAT SAYS, IN SHORT, WE
KNOW THIS IS WRONG AND DON'T LIKE IT SO LETS PUT AN END TO IT.

but this is a society of strangers and individuals--in other cultures where people
believe the bigger meaning lies in the society and not the individual, one finds
greater involvement in dictating what constitutes appropriate behavior by way of
a shared response. it's implicit.

not that one society is better than another, just taking inventory on what the
our western deficiencies are as a consequence of our disposable and corporate
culture where all are somehow out playing out 'every man for himself' and
none have learned simple lessons for how man as a species has evolved in the
first place.

we've nurtured out this lesson from our world experiences, and spiralled backward
on the evolutionary scale. in one billion years, gerbals will rule the earth

i believe EVERY ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE CARED, BUT NONE OF THEM FELT THEY ALONE
COULD FACE THAT MOOSE--NOT EVEN CONSIDERING THEY'D HAVE GROUP SUPPORT.
THAT'S NOT SPECULATION, THAT'S PERVASIVE.

that woman was a piece of work, she surely invisioned the whole thing then foolishly
thought she could say to her giant daft boy friend, "okay boy, heal, mommy said sit...
no...bad dog...stop...stop".

what a pair. poor bloke.

Great example Russ - So what's everyone's opinion here? Say you're the guy on the phone, how would you handle it? Deck the chick? Reason with her? Engage the rest of the crowd? I have my ideas, but would love to hear others' thoughts.

As the guy on the phone, first thing I'd do is shut up. Which could have avoided the whole thing. But go back to the universe where the guy involved himself anyway. The moment the big dude gets involved, pay some fucking attention and get those hands up! To at least give himself a chance. And to try to stay out of the smashing of cellphones and "fuck you, screw you blah blah" deal.

Mainly my approach is that most idiots aren't worth tangling up with. It's just not worth the hassle. I have the patience of a rock when it comes to lines.

Best plan though is to recruit the crowd, deck the chick, hide her and tell big boy she must have walked out when he wasn't looking, or maybe just all go and deck him too, oh and delete the tape. Take their money and buy free food for everyone.

HAHAHAA - excellent

Russ, I agree with your observations about our societies 100%.In fact we dont live in anything that can be called a society anymore.

I'm not a fan of saying "If that was me, I would have done bla bla bla"

But....

IF THAT WAS ME... having been in similar situations, I imagine it would have played out like this:

I probably would have told homegirl to get to the back of the line (That's just me). If she got up in my face, I definitely wouldn't have a shouting match with her. I'd just do the blank expression /thousand yard stare thing. Using shouting to assert your self seems like such a 'civilian' thing to do, know what I mean? It's like with dogs, the smallest most harmless ones are the ones who bark the loudest.

If I then had Big Boy come to have a chat with me, I couldn't just switch to full-blow submissiveness after asserting myself to his GF. The incongruent behaviour could make things worse. But at the same time, I definitely wouldn't try to show him who's boss.

I would probably have used some open palm "I surrender" or "whatever" type fence or 'de-escalation' stance and said something along the lines of "Fine. I'm not looking for trouble. If it means that much to you just jump on in. I'm not gonna fight over a space in the line"

I think that the submissiveness plus the fact that I didn't yell at his girl would probably (for most people) remove the threat somewhat. So hopefully I wouldn't get punched in the face - they'd just carry on feeling pretty good about themselves.

If I still felt that he was gonna hit me.... I won't bother going into that. There are so many frikkin variables. I've had someone get up in my face when I had a mobile phone to my ear, and although I'd trained to use it in a hammer-fist style, I couldn't help but feel handicapped (never had to in the end anyway) The whole fence/pre-emptive thing changes quite radically from hitting the focus mit or helmetted friend when you involve things like carrying shopping, holding phone or umbrella or having a backpack on. It all sucks lol

Having watched the clip again... At the 1:41 mark, is it just me or did anybody else get the feeling that the best thing to do (based on being trained to pre-empt and run) would have been to smash both of them and run?

I'm sure it's the same for you guys, but after doing so much role-playing and pre-emptive training, if I even watch a video of somebody getting in someone else's face I can just feel my nervous system winding up to throw a slap or hook. Quite reassuring really

Sharif Haque (Tacpro) wrote:

Having watched the clip again... At the 1:41 mark, is it just me or did anybody else get the feeling that the best thing to do (based on being trained to pre-empt and run) would have been to smash both of them and run?

I'm sure it's the same for you guys, but after doing so much role-playing and pre-emptive training, if I even watch a video of somebody getting in someone else's face I can just feel my nervous system winding up to throw a slap or hook. Quite reassuring really

yup...on all sentiments. nail'em and run...run...run like the wind....click my heels together [dorothy]
and run before shamoo figures out that i'd be good to have with bakes beans, a pie, and [burp] wash
me down with a nice lemonade shandy since the weather is so dreamy

in my perfect world where my wind up wasn't curtailed by one of her korean press on nails in my
nostril, i'd be thinking of his throat since it'd probably be all i could reach. she gets a slap on my way out the door--maybe before him, maybe not [lets face it, there'd be no fight were otherwise].

then i'd find a new carry-out of course

is it just me, but if you do 'well' in a fight, does anyone else get hungry? digressing now...but since i went
there anyway, some of the biggest build ups i've ever had have been in carry-outs. someone will be invading space, hitting on the partner [flirting], insulting, looking like they're about to cause you to drop your food, etc...and i swear, maybe i have issues growing up in a house where my food was literally stollen from my plate by a greedy sibling. or perhaps things were so out of control in my house--with the adults, that food became a major control issue--i'm one of the few males to have wrestled with anorexia
as a young teen, not the delicate 'help me' kind, the hidden [faux health nut kind] version. anyway, when things have been exscalated to where it looks i'm about to lose my food, i've felt anger from my feet, like i'm consumed in it and the antagonist is in serious danger of going through the big glass window of the shop. weird, illogical, and true

Now that I think about it, Russ, since I've been a member of this forum, your posts do seem to follow the same path...

Stories of childhood, food, fighting, fighting over food, fighting during your childhood, childhood food issues, fighting with childhood food issues...

Geeezzz...

Richie, think you can make some self-help/hypnosis CDs for Russ? He's got some serious issues here. Specifically of the foody/fighty/childhood kind

Sharif Haque (Tacpro) wrote:

Now that I think about it, Russ, since I've been a member of this forum, your posts do seem to follow the same path...

Stories of childhood, food, fighting, fighting over food, fighting during your childhood, childhood food issues, fighting with childhood food issues...

Geeezzz...

Richie, think you can make some self-help/hypnosis CDs for Russ? He's got some serious issues here. Specifically of the foody/fighty/childhood kind

the dvd could come with a yummy prize desert and carbonated ribena.
mmmm, like chocolate pudding with milky bar dipping segments.
what? did i miss the point again...oh drat

It was this vid, on top of a whole lot of others posted, that prompted me to join the forum. Thanks for the link. The vid, for myself, reaffirmed the concept of cognitive load, and not letting the verbal come before the physical priorities of awareness/preparedness, fence etc.
Virtually all these vids are instructive in what not to do, e.g. hands by side, staring at aggressors face rather than concentrating on shoulders/arms, not controlling the distance by means of fence and body positioning. Being ignorant of environment around themselves and aggressor. As a result these vids serve as a valuable reminder for myself as to which is the horse and which the cart, when it comes to physical principles vs. psychological/verbal ones.

Unclouded,

i must say, the more i think of this vid...the more i realise the only thing
i can say for sure [because i can get lippy, just like the guy in the vid] is
that no-one, and i mean no-one gets past my fence in those slow build
ups. not even friends, i just try and not make it look that way. when the
tension builds, i have helium in my hands and up they go

that big guy had real power at close range. it just goes to show you what
someone can do if they do it first. my dad was almost that battered bloke
in a movie line once. lippy girl like that who had a boyfriend that would
back her up. i lucked out because my dad and i couldn't look more different.
so when i broke it up mock-neutral, you could see the wheels turning in the
moments after as they realized pop-and-i were together. by that time
their adrenaline had fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzled out. it's really quite amaizing the
tight rope walk we all walk, and how timing and perception can change so
much.

i would just leave the pizza , and walk away. from that bitch, my hungry was allready over

OK, so a couple ideas to get y'all to comment on.
Armchair psychologist hat says our homegirl here has low self esteem, does not get listened to much, or taken seriously, and is used to fighting for attention using verbal and physical threat. Also aligns herself with homeboy sized company to get her out of situations, again re affirming her self worth.
So you make some under your breath 'diss' that she overhears. Seems like ignoring a person like this is destined for trouble. Hell, I'D get irritated if someone I was trying to engage pretended I was not there.
So what about putting your hand out - "Hi, my name's 'whatever', I in no way meant to offend you. It seems like you must be in a hurry whereas I am not, please feel free to take my place". Then smile widely. (I have to say that having an English accent here in the States works wonders on occasion)
If the harassment continues, engage the rest of the crowd - "Hey guys, this lady seems to be in a hurry, are you (touching shoulder or making eye contact with a particular person here) OK with letting her move ahead? How about you (point at them). 2 fold advantage of making the problem everybody's and disconnecting from the direct confrontation. Now, there is the risk I guess of now causing a complete riot! But I suspect most people in there were not up for that.
Thoughts anyone?

Just goes to show the power of the fence and foward reactions.If that guys hands had been up and had he been ready to follow a block of the punch with a throat smash and some knees then hoof it, he might have very well gotten away with it.

maija wrote:

OK, so a couple ideas to get y'all to comment on.
Armchair psychologist hat says our homegirl here has low self esteem, does not get listened to much, or taken seriously, and is used to fighting for attention using verbal and physical threat. Also aligns herself with homeboy sized company to get her out of situations, again re affirming her self worth.
So you make some under your breath 'diss' that she overhears. Seems like ignoring a person like this is destined for trouble. Hell, I'D get irritated if someone I was trying to engage pretended I was not there.
So what about putting your hand out - "Hi, my name's 'whatever', I in no way meant to offend you. It seems like you must be in a hurry whereas I am not, please feel free to take my place". Then smile widely. (I have to say that having an English accent here in the States works wonders on occasion)
If the harassment continues, engage the rest of the crowd - "Hey guys, this lady seems to be in a hurry, are you (touching shoulder or making eye contact with a particular person here) OK with letting her move ahead? How about you (point at them). 2 fold advantage of making the problem everybody's and disconnecting from the direct confrontation. Now, there is the risk I guess of now causing a complete riot! But I suspect most people in there were not up for that.
Thoughts anyone?

an interesting point you raise Maija, interesting on many levels. we all superimposed ourselves onto
this field of battle, but like some zen riddle you placed yourself early enough into the scenario to be able to spread out the crazy chic's attention to include newly created makeshift friends in the establishment.
who couldn't see the wisdom in that, and the probability of success. i guess in some ways it truly seperates the SP minded from the SO [self offense] minded. your rather buddhist response is sort of like having some degenerate prick demand money from you, only to have you really derail him by
saying, "you look hungry, let me buy you something to eat...i'm sure you really don't want to hurt anyone".

not taking the mickey, it's really what self protection should be about. i must say, i'm a slack jawed troglidyte by comparison, probably more along the lines of a SO teacher. in my world, what i really am, in action, is a:
self-i'didn't'bother'you'so'fook'off teacher. personally i have a real beef with letting some ignorrant yokal feel unchallenged by way of his/her inappropriate and uncivil behavior. i feel that i shouldn't have to gently ask someone to kindly move from my front steps whilst i go into my house and fix lemonade if they're still there when i get back. i don't presume my way is better, i actually am quite sure it's closer to a mirroir reflection of them. i'm quite peeved at the prospect of allowing them to go uncured--if even by some verbal arrow to the heart.

when someone butts in line, i probably will allow it, but not without some sort of,
"you're an arsehole for not asking, but enjoy your meal" response. i don't need my place in line back,
i need others to see themselves for what they are. i'm quite frankly sick of folks like this. they have scent marked the world for far too long.

on my bike ride home, a bus driver almost flattened me. i caught up to the bus, came around the door,
and i made one attempt [only one] to give the bus driver a chance to appologize [not even dignifying the bike lane or seeing me--whichever]...i said
"is you rear view in place? because you just cut me off..."

as soon as i heard the first burp of inane syllables sounding something to the tune of,
"well you should have..."

i verbally lit into the driver--cutting off the sentence and loudly eschewing the only conclusion i would allow,
"NO EXCUSE...YOU...ARE...A...BAD...DRIVER"

i had a moment whereby i wanted to give the person a chance to appologize, after that, the bus and the driver got to feel a pinch bitter so as not to allow further confusion on the matter--or rationalizing. the driver shut the door and i drove along side the bus on the way home. not for any combative and daring reason, but rather to make the point...this is a bike lane and you must comply, not me. you're the problem dickhead.

i on occasion wonder what i would do if someone demanded my money, i can't really speculate unless it actually happens. i'd certainly be angry enough to say,
"i wouldn't give you the sh^& from my toilet, you useless f*&k-up". i know there are moments on that spectrum of SP to SO where i may be forced to make an unpopular choice--if i were out numbered or with loved ones. i've already been there and know i always choose to get people out safely; and i feel confident enough to know that 5 people feeling powerful before me is only because they will be working as a unit, or possess weapons...meaning i can leave with my ego in tact even if i'll be furious for quite a chunk of time.

i like your way, it must be some indication of a higher level of thinking i reckon. but i see the merit of people who think like me. sometimes reward is a child's way to learn, and then there are those that just need a bit of negative reinforcement, whether i have the tools for this or not. the fact is, these low self esteam folks that we should be able to feel pitty/sympathy/empathy for from a distance, may be asking a bit too much when it's too close for comfort.

i guess i fit the rattle snake profile. one reasonable response, one attempt to leave, and then--if my level of skill permits me [who knows?] you get what you paid for.

Nothing wrong with the direct response there Russ, 'S.O.' as it were.
Now, I'm not advocating 'being nice to dickheads' as a strategy here, I am saying that I believe there are often words, phrases you can use, if early enough, to diffuse a situation. Do the unexpected and remove the head to butt against, if you know what I mean.
I know you are a great fan of the mind frack Russ, as am I, so I was toying with this idea of personalizing a situation that others would not otherwise involve themselves in, whilst distracting homegirl and taking away the need to argue from someone that needed to save face.

maija wrote:

Nothing wrong with the direct response there Russ, 'S.O.' as it were.
Now, I'm not advocating 'being nice to dickheads' as a strategy here, I am saying that I believe there are often words, phrases you can use, if early enough, to diffuse a situation. Do the unexpected and remove the head to butt against, if you know what I mean.
I know you are a great fan of the mind frack Russ, as am I, so I was toying with this idea of personalizing a situation that others would not otherwise involve themselves in, whilst distracting homegirl and taking away the need to argue from someone that needed to save face.

IT MAKES SENSE TO ME MATE, I GUESS I'D HAVE TO BE IN A BALANCED PLACE MYSELF FIRSTLY

I SUPPOSE THE BIGGER THE THREAT, THE MORE I SEE RED, BECAUSE NOW THERE'S THE ADDED
BONUS OF IMAGINING THIS IS A REGULAR UNCHALLENGED PRACTICE FOR THEM...
WHERE ARE THOSE MEDS

ahh, that's better
sometimes i get so sick of folks that start stuff, then seem indignant and on the offense if called.
it just so happens to be the flavor of my city of abode--at times.

an aside: much need for mind fraks on the part of the sheep in the background, perhaps even more
so than the crazy-love couple from that stand point, i can start the healing process

Hmm...

The fight in the clip didn't just erupt out of nowhere.

Everyone is standing there. Everything is cool. Big girl walks in, skips the line.

Hillfiger picks up his phone and begins talking to whoever he called, and is pointing at big girl. I assume he is saying something insulting. Because when big girl overhears this - and I'm sure that was Hillfiger's passive/aggressive intention - she comes over and we enter the pre fight stage.

Hillfiger's ego is trying to win by just blowing her off. Big girl's ego won't have any of it and she tries to recruit the assistance of Big boy. He doesn't come in right away. Maybe she is like that a lot and he just says "yeah yeah whatever" and stands outside chuckling at the whole spectacle. He comes to stand the ground when the manager attempts to throw her out though.

And this is the exact stage of the situation where Hillfiger decides to throw a hissy fit and start a yelling match with big girl.

I am attempting to extend understanding from all perspectives. Not acceptance, just understanding. As little of it as can be gained from a clip. I can not get mysef to identify with any of the lead stars of this act. I would be one of the many who just stayed out of the whole mess. "Baa baa little lamb, no clusterfuck for meee"

The more I see that clip, I can not see many other ways it could have played out other than how it did.

A man's mouth can be his worst enemy. If the guy had just kept his shut, then maybe nothing would have happened that day. But he felt a need to get lippy...

After the guy made the mistake of waking up her ego with insulting comments, Maija's suggestions seem like some very good ways to recover from that mistake. Very nice and sneaky. Makes good use of the resources available such as the other customers. Gets it to be about something other than "argh me Vs. you"

RichardB wrote:

Hmm...

The fight in the clip didn't just erupt out of nowhere.

Everyone is standing there. Everything is cool. Big girl walks in, skips the line.

Hillfiger picks up his phone and begins talking to whoever he called, and is pointing at big girl. I assume he is saying something insulting. Because when big girl overhears this - and I'm sure that was Hillfiger's passive/aggressive intention - she comes over and we enter the pre fight stage.

Hillfiger's ego is trying to win by just blowing her off. Big girl's ego won't have any of it and she tries to recruit the assistance of Big boy. He doesn't come in right away. Maybe she is like that a lot and he just says "yeah yeah whatever" and stands outside chuckling at the whole spectacle. He comes to stand the ground when the manager attempts to throw her out though.:

i've thought this from the start--but i just happen to be of the opinion that maybe whatever he said
she needed to hear , and those in the store probably felt it too, and at that point she perhaps should have said, "your right, i'm sorry but i'm double parked...does anybody mind if..."

i'm sure he said, "this bitch just cut in line" and while i NEVER would have said something like that to
a woman--too much conditioning/acculturation, i would have said, "hey lady, i don't think so...we've all been waiting a while". hmmm, hard to say if it would have made all that much difference--judging by
our assessment already.

Quote :

when someone butts in line, i probably will allow it, but not without some sort of,
"you're an arsehole for not asking, but enjoy your meal" response. i don't need my place in line back,
i need others to see themselves for what they are. i'm quite frankly sick of folks like this. they have scent marked the world for far too long.

Dito. This is probably the real reason in my first post that I said I wouldn't go into straight submissiveness. There is the truth about incongruent behaviour, but I think mainly it's my ego. If I ever went into that pure "hey, no problem man, please don't hurt me" mode then it's only because I'm intent on pre-empting (bit of a moral issue there, I know. But i'll just side-step that for now )

Had an issue last night on the road where a guy wanted to speed past me - I couldn't give him room because of an on-coming van on the other side of the road so he beeped me. Ok, that already adds a few heart-beats per minute but nothing serious, then as he passes, decides to give us the finger. Not to me - but to my lady sitting next to me. And for some reason, the fact that the baby is in the back makes it feel worse - like he's attacking my family.

We stop at a red light. He's just a few cars ahead. It would be SOOOO EASY to go do what I want to do. Well, what I wanted to really do would get me in more trouble than it's worth, but what I was contemplating was getting out, tapping on his window and try to engage him in a conversation about road safety and the morality of being abusive to strangers. No shouting, but no smiles either. Just man-to-man talking that would change his insignificant life. The main intention here being to teach him that it's dangerous to swear at strangers - you never know who they are or what they are capable of. It's the stupidity that pisses me off. Just because he lives in a world wear the most obnoxious person is deemed 'alpha', how can he assume that I live in the same world? How does he know that I'm not a psycho who solves everything with violence? Anyway, the real reason that pushes me to want to do this (happened before) is that my ego wants to seek the dominant position by showing them I'm willing to take the confrontation to the next level.

And that's why I don't follow through. It's truly harder for me to stay in the car. Getting out and facing a potential violent situation doesn't scare me as much as letting people go about their lives causing trouble for themselves and other people. So I just...

Tense stomach

Grip the wheel

BREEEAAATTHHHEEE.....

And fight the hardest fight in the world..... the fight with my ego. Seriously, it's so challenging trying to resist egoic stupidity that I feel exhausted afterwards.


Which takes us back to another recent subject we were talking about: The weird world where fighting and spirituality meet. People can take a few mma classes or whatever and leave it at that. But when you have been conditioned for violence (supra states and all that), then meditation and inner development is essential.

Sharif Haque (Tacpro) wrote:

And that's why I don't follow through. It's truly harder for me to stay in the car. Getting out and facing a potential violent situation doesn't scare me as much as letting people go about their lives causing trouble for themselves and other people. So I just...

Tense stomach

Grip the wheel

BREEEAAATTHHHEEE.....

when you have been conditioned for violence (supra states and all that), then meditation and inner development is essential.

you just crawled into my head experienced a wicked 25% of my day on occasion. it reminds me of a quote from Mohamad [sp?]--to paraphrase, "it's not how many men you can put down, but how many
you can keep from putting down"

i get that feeling of 'oh-shit' from time to time because some nutter has attempted to engage me in a
sport all of his own where [in his bubble world] i cave under his inexperienced and unfocussed fists. i see myself getting out [as a preview in my head] and then usually remember my son in his car seat,
or my family that simply couldn't afford the loss of time, money, or potential trouble such things can
lend to by way of cock-ups regarding all things legal system. at that point i get a 2nd 'oh shit' and move
on. bubble man has undoubtedly fed his own ego and set himself up for a bigger fall at a later date. oh well. i wish him luck, he might have been better off with me. that car theme is just a recurring nightmare
of daily idiots. and with windows down in the warmer weather one hears stuff like, "go, you asshole" and
it becomes quite a challenge because on occasion such language can have a trigger like affect--when your family is in the car. and i get the whole man to man conversation--where if they wish they can fook up what was only to be a conversation.

i've even had a sort of stand off in a clothes shop where about 3 or 4 men from somewhere else [than me] insulted my wife, and a cultural clash almost became a cultural explotion. they were patronizing her and speaking to me as if 'we were all in agreement'. i think they were even commenting on her looks before that. on that occasion i lost it and demanded appologies--explaning that they musn't project their
values onto me, that they had no idea how insulting that just was, and it behooved them to fix it. my eyes were bulging out of my head because under it all was an act, whereby they felt confidently in larger number than me, and deep down inside they knew their view was bollocks and applied to them alone. i'm well aware of the little tricks people try to play on themselves and others. they can dumb themselves down all they want, but i'm not a platform for their daily faux pas and slights. you know?

so breath is what i constantly do, meditate is what i do as well. and i actually put alot of effort into
leaving potentially frustrating situations before they turn frustrating.

[quote]oh well. i wish him luck, he might have been better off with me[quote]

I like that. I find it hard sometimes to let karma take care of it. And although it's not the best mentality to have - smiling at the idea that you are letting them go into the jaws of a bigger animal can definitely lower the blood pressure a wee bit

Russ the Muss wrote:

personally i have a real beef with letting some ignorrant yokal feel unchallenged by way of his/her inappropriate and uncivil behavior.

Food again!

I'm the same, but tend to just quietly seethe.

Thing is, the world's full of shitheads, one could be fighting all day every day until sooner or later you come unstuck.

Random thoughts: moose doesn't look that interested until phone man starts face in face with his honeypie. He looks lethargic even drunk (whatever). He hits the moment phone man breaks eye contact and looks down at phone.Not completely sure if phone man is in denial on phone, or being a smart arse escalating from the start.


Personally, I don't like the girl in my face first time; tend to think people like that in UK are almost as likely to sock you as a male. As usual, once she starts, without a real response, it escalates.
So how about this?: If you feel she can't be left that close, then gently push index finger in her stomach, pushing her away saying "get away from me", and making sure everyone sees the one finger at the end. She'd have marched out to call moose. Soon as he comes in, both palms go up, sort of submissive, but then pointing at him with one saying " mate you need to sort her out...she comes pushing infront of everyone here and then starts mouthing off in my face when I saying something. What would you do if someone pushed in front of you?!!". He might then register 'yeah, that sounds about likely, I don't need this'. Or, it'd then be face to face. He's strong but can't hit - anyone that big hitting the jaw cold should have had way more affect. With his lazy demeanour, I rather fancy a nice loose-heavy left hook right on the side of his jaw + throat strikes, knee to groin etc. And then if he doesn't drop, run like fuck!

A lot of interesting replies in this thread. I am in agreement with those who state that the woman is clearly has major psychological issues. Obviously no rational, mature individual, conducts themselves in such a manner. How to deal cleanly with such a person, man or woman, once they are in such a place, with the wildly exaggerated gesticulations and the language to match, I really don't know. I am certainly open to be proved wrong, but with such an individual, I don't think there is a pretty option. Preemption, particularly in an age where there seems to be a camera on every second corner, would be unwise (though granted, extremely, extremely pleasurable). A placating tone/posture, seems only to invite further aggression (look to the vid of the kid being assaulted on the bus to see this), so what is left? Perhaps only, control. No matter how outrageous the response, virtually all know when their behavior is in the wrong. At that moment, they may rather die than admit it to you. But they know. So presenting control at the very least, keeps the battle on the field of your choosing, rather than theirs. Why start throwing around your arms yourself? Do you think you would succeed in being a better dick than them? In my own experience, I have never found myself in a position where I could change the behavior of those acting anti-socially. Early on in security, I thought I could. If I could only present what they were doing wrong, in a pleasant enough way, they would see their error, right? Not a once. And why? Because they are a dick. And you can't de-dick a dick. (Okay, time to change up the terminology here, because if the Google bots scan this post, they are going to start directing a wholly different surfing demographic to this site!) All I could hope for in such situations, was presenting control myself. While giving them enough wiggle room to woof at me as they were walking, so as they could save face.
What prompted my initial post in this thread though, has been what I have been going through myself in training, in terms of understanding the cognitive load that can be imposed by different verbal techniques. And how the forced adoption of a particular approach, say the excessive deescalation advocated by a lot of Senshido guys, can be too costly mentally for some (certainly for myself). Having the result of compromising the physical principles of fence, distance control, awareness of aggressor's hands and of the environment that surrounds the two of you. These physical principles, I believe, are the horse. And the verbal/psychological skills, the cart. And the vids out there of real world violence seem to confirm this. Whether the good guy is intimidated, aggressive, defiant, with the verbal to match these states, if the physical principles aren't in place, they virtually all come unstuck, and on those few instances where they don't, they pass up the opportunity to end the confrontation with far less physical risk to themselves.