knowing your destiny in life

some of you guy s are satisfided the way you are living? and how you know your on the right track?
really , i work with problem youth. and i dont know.. i never found a job who gets me a happy or good feeling when i m come home.
and i tried many study, or work from soldier, to forester, to doorman, to social worker with drug addicts, now to work with problem youth.
and really i found not the work in the military was not the best for me, but the people, and the guys were my kind of people..
i am now on a crossroad.. or i go sign a contract to go work in Afrika for 5 years, to help the poor, or i go back to study again, or i dont fucking know..

how is it with you guys? you have maby tips to find your way?
i would be gratefull
cheers

When I was younger I worked in restaurants, pubs and ran a night club for a short while. Turns out I don't like having to be nice to people, especially if they are idiots, so am happy not to work in the service industry any more.
I have an engineering degree and found out I didn't want to sit on my arse all day in an office.
What do I do now? I'm a painter/decorator and teach martial arts .... both of which I thoroughly enjoy ... well I enjoy the martial arts part better but it doesn't pay the mortgage yet!
Turns out I like to do physical work. I like a job where I'm outside alot and I feel as though Ive done something real at the end of the day. I don't spend the day talking about nothing or pushing paper and all in all it is very satisfying.
Now that's just me, some people HATE manual work, love to talk about nothing, and would prefer to be infront of a computer screen all day ...... don't know about you.
If you are stuck, travel is always good. Studying too, but only if the subject interests you. Sometimes you got to try many things before you know what you are good at, what you like to do, and what can earn you money. Unfortunately they are sometimes not the same thing, but life is short so it's good to get out there and explore.
One of my teachers said all choices in life boil down to either moving towards life, or towards death. Are you engaging MORE in life or less? I think it is a good question.

thanx man! i alway find it difficult to lets say.. follow your heart. etc..
but in the long run its the only way i think..

but my problem is i dont know wat i want!

ive trained martial arts for 25 years now
and still im interested a bit, but not as much as a few years back.
i teach some doorman because the guys are friends of me, i train myself etc..
so i went to test office, who test your skills and interests..
really useless because the scores on different jobs where allmost the same..

So tommorrow i go back to the streetkids again..

greets!

i feel what you're saying. it's tricky. i used to think it had to do with wanting to do something great in life...then ending up wanting to do something you like...then ending needing a wee bit more money than that, and finding some in between place that's not too much of a disruption on some of the other things--family/hobbies/etc, you still want to keep.

i'm dyslexic (sp?) and that made school hard for me. so my pattern early on was:
-door security and hanging with friends who showed me the curtesy of at least not trying to steal from the store i was working...
-drinking too much
-liking the way things are going
-getting a girl
-go to university
-drop out with illusions of being a weightlifter/powerlifter/personal trainer type
-get a wicked injury and go back to school
-get good at martial arts
-drop out of college--not wanting to pursue the 'marine science' track i was on because of too much actual science involved [thought it would all be 'jaque crus-something or other scuba diving in hawaii]
-life guard for a time
-security for a long time [mostly shoplifter detail; but also building security]
-go to university
-get a girl/drink too much

i could save you the longer message by saying i would get good at the martial arts and physical training, and think...get me the fook out of school, here's something i could do. then end up with some forced time off where the idea of a higher paying job and finishing school would eat at me.

in the end i got a degree in anthropology...worked more security...then got a job as an assistant teacher and volunteer self defense teacher at low income places. later a PE teacher. now, with my sciatic nerve constantly flaring up...i'm wishing i was a book keeper again [didn't mention that one; or carpenter's helper; or surgical technician in an animal hospitol; or sandwitch maker; or ice scream scooper; or truck driver]

sometimes i think i like the martial arts because it's the only thing that has been around for most of the ride.

now i think i feel more like water. if it seems to be working, i'm tired of fighting it. some things, yup...others, lets just see if there are more benefits than shortcomings. i used to be well along the path of meditation. like it was the top most important thing in my life. i was so inwardly balanced then.

walking a tight rope of opposites constantly. i feel like they're all just actor roles, and bullshit [at the end of the metaphorical day]. now i'm trying to play PE teacher--which i think when my pain goes away, i like the most because it's physical and light hearted (especially during the soccer segment). and teaching a handful of dedicated students for them, and for my satisfaction.

i just bet my story is not so extraudinary

good luck. if you figure it out, tell me

wow! ok, im not the only one.. haha
really about the study and degrees i feel sorry many time i dont have many..
But sitting in school was like torture that time..
and i followed the words of bob marley... We dont need education, we need inspiration..
inspiration i had.. a lot.. but it worked out to nothing, and now im little bit worried about my future, but trust in the lord or something?
i feel many times like im throwing my life away..
hope i find my way soon...

greets

Quote ..."but trust in the lord or something?"
Ain't no one coming to save you, as far as I can tell!!! Only you.
Inspiration is good, but means nothing without hard work and follow through.
Remember, life is really just 'process'. All experience is just that, experience, and hopefully at the end of it all, you have learned something and perhaps even passed some of that wisdom on.
As I see it, the REAL trick is not necessarily getting a job that will make you happy/content, but to BE happy/content regardless of what job you are doing.
'Hmmmm, yeah', I hear you say, 'not so easy'! Well that's what practice/meditation/study is for .......

yes youre right its all relative.. for poor people fit any job..
we have too much choises.. my father say sometimes.. we are like the roman empire.. at top of its succes, people drink and eat to much, become fat and lazy and hungry people take over the succes.. its a logical thing.
youre right about the mind state of hapiness, in all situations.. with or without a job.
But one helps the other i think.
and besides .. i need the stupid money..

And about meditation.. people want to become free of their egos, but at the same time they are only busy with themselfs.
i dont believe in it any more.. i did yoga, and all kinds of spiritual things.. but the people who give the cursus are most of the time liars who get a lot off money out of weak people.
they believe like satanic people that they are god themselfs.. while they cant even create ONE cell.
Now the new buddha is found in the jungle.. a boy of 18 years old who doesnt eat for 3 years.
everybody praise him as the reincarnation of siddartha.
im losing my religion on these things...
the same with the shaolin monks and their inner strength and meditation..
few years back, they give a demo in holland with supernatural stuff. with threes in their bellys and so on..
they asked the adience if sombody want to hit the monk in his belly?
i was at that time with a good friend, and famous freefighter in holland, we dont say nothing.. but for some reason they asked my friend to come on stage..
if he can hit him.. so he feel a little bit sorry for the monk so he hit him with a little bit power punch to the stomach.. the monk say , no full power, all you got! so he did.
he gave a good punch this time, and the monk fell over to his knees and stay there on the ground.. Too much noise in the adience! he cant concentrate because of the noise! etc etc.. my friend gives his apologys, because it was not his intention to hurt the spiritual worrior.

in amerika there is a man who has a research institute who gives you one million dollar if you can show him ONE paranormal thing/ trick.. but you have to do it filmed with a test team.. Not even one time somebody can do something.. James Randi find out that a man want to believe in this kind of nonsense.

What you acchieve with your meditation?
but nice for you if it works!
greets!!

chulo,

i appologize in advance if this sounds like i'm an authority. it's the way i talk on this subject. if you don't agree. no problem.
then we should just think. we're both right, we're both wrong. or agree to disagree and move on.

meditation is beyond thought, and beyond talk. it is in inner stillness of sorts that is more of a metaphor for not being yoked by the past, the future, inner mundane thoughts. like the mystic who said, "the things you think you own...own you". meditation that claims anything else is 'fabrication'...'hallucination'...etc... for people like me with anger and impulse control (more in my youth), it put a sense of inner peace into me, and placed rational thought there where needed. it also made me think clearly. this is all those metaphors of a 'pond with no ripples'. one can grasp stuff more quickly, feel more peaceful, know himself more honestly, etc. i had a famous guru for years. he took no fees. he was very strict!!! and the only miraculous thing i've ever been around for was when he was going to be operated on. they couldn't drug him for surgery. he had exceptional control of his mind. he probably did this for our benefit as he could have displayed this quality with or without explanation, but in the end he went into a deep meditation and they did the extensive surgery on his two feet. that's a stronger miracle than the 'parting of the red seas' for me.

he shunned all the nutters who claimed visions, etc...he was famous for being almost irreverent with common conceptions. one of my favorite things i know he said--to all those people bathing in holy streams, was, "if this makes people holy, the fish would be masters". to those people stuck in scriptures, he said, "this is the menu...if you want to eat, then you must meditate...it's 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration". this brings it back to maija's point. the life you make for yourself by your own blood and tears. this is the life you'll feel fulfilled and happy for.

i say to people on my soccer team. make it happen. don't wait for it to happen. i think you'd have liked this guy, he used to pull tricks on people and test their personalities out. he would sort of script change his personality and get out of people what needed to be extracted. he was hard on me because i was clearly not a new age puff. i was hard headed and for that i inherited much hard work and rebukes. now i see more what he was doing for me. he has since died but the impression he left on me was also stronger than the miracles people are waiting around for. another favorite thing i remember, he used to make fun of men who were overly attached to some pretty girl by saying--to paraphrase, "my wife...she is so beaty-fool...
beauty-FOOL". it was hysterical. he could shred the biggest meat head down to size--or the most stubborn dickhead, like i used to be.

meditation is only to know yourself and gain some inner calmness. quoting scriptures like a parrot--without knowing what it means. jabbering tongues and flopping about claiming spirit beings and whatever the heck else, it is a side show that will take you further and further from the goal. work on tangible things and leave the mysteries as inspiration and awe--but not to be grasped. it will drive you bananas otherwise. i had an experience in the height of that time period where i just about lost my mind. i felt no body weight, felt completely blissed out, felt i could walk away from anything and everyone i love. all the questions were answered alright...because i didn't care what they were anymore. i really felt god was inside me, comforting me. one of my guru's meditation guys said to me--regarding this (to paraphrase), "that's nice...but don't get all caught up on it...move on...keep doing what you're doing..."etc... i haven't felt that way since. he was trying to make me not feel let down when he probably suspected it wouldn't be something i'd feel everyday...or ever again.

with all my respect russel.. but i know meditation is very very popular in 2008 in holland also, in every magazine you find this.
but i found out many people drive themselves crazy without a proper teacher like you maby have had.

i think the sub consiousness is not to play with.
i did meditation for years also, also with a teacher.. but still, i dont felt my body anymore, and it keeps for 7 years this way or soo

and now comes the scary part...
i gave up the meditation and the spiritual hocus pocus, and went with a good friend to a black church, the pastor saw me , and prayed for me.. and the whole church with him..
since that moment i feel in my body again.
and not im a good christian now..
but i believe jesus is the lord of the whole universe.
and god in you like you say can also be felt if you use heroine.
thats not the god i like to meditate to.

Very interesting is the facts about 2012.. check them on youtube or soo, and i checked also the bible on it.. very much like the spiritual revolution is now.. full of nonsense.

hey but please , im really not a good christian.. and i sound like i go to church and so..
no.. i just dont meditate anymore, and sometimes read the bible , and pray sometimes..
it dont work like the meditation, but at least i dont feel strange all day.
And i am very very gratefull i feel back in my body again.. thanx to the pastor? people of the church ? or jesus himself? i dont know

But i respect your religion, and from everybody. i only say how i feel about it.
(also a little bit scary) if you check on google the satanic church.. there are a lot of similaritys with the yoga and meditation lifestyle..

I like the way you allways give reply with respect..
i sound parts because of my bad enlish often clumsy and part because of my direct way of communication.
if it was in dutch i could write with more rules of etiquette.

greets

i'm happy you have something you like. i'm just telling what meditation 'is'.
it isn't religion. it's a technique to quiet your mind and rest your body. to make you still. people incorporate it accordingly--in sports, in fighting, in religion. people meditate to get calm. people meditate on things and make a zen like exercise of it. and some try and find some inner connection to god with it. like they're waves, and wish to feel their connection with the greater ocean. my goal was only to define, really. if you have jesus, or buddha, or john travolta...as far as i'm concerned, we're all on a path of improvement. we start from all walks, and presumably if we're dedicated to improving ourselves, may one day find that once we get there all the roads disappear.
meditation is a tool and not to be worshipped as such. and yoga--if you follow the sanskrit meaning, means 'the union of god and body'. nothing more. there are many many many things calling themselves yoga. there are many things passing for 'religion'. there are even many organizations
calling themselves 'christian'. this is where it makes sense to say, 'no dogma', even in spiritual matters. be just as wary of the well intended organization that speak of things they know nothing of. like the blind leading the blind--not directed at you or your church, or christianity. just that the truth is sometimes within one christian place, or a buddhist one, or a hindu one. no trademarks or copy rights--my opinion. just like the martial arts. you have individual you can rely on, but largely not entire systems, unless they're very good. i happen to swear by the stuff Richie and Bob teaches because they are very good. cover more bases than others i've seen. they work and they're easily grasped.
why i am more apt to wonder into an ashram than get stuck misinterpreting scripture, no matter what it's original meaning may have. i'm not a religion hater. but i, like you, am more skeptical and worried about religion, rather than meditation--which is just about my honest journey.

yes it s also now wise to discuss politics or religion.. we ve all seen what happened in the world because of that! haha

soo, its okay mate, yes the training methods of bob and richie are good.
only my style of training is different, because i aim only for the eyes or balls, or if i have a knife for vital points, and my whole training is based on that.. bisides of my bjj training.. but thats more for my health and conditioning.

And i am only 30 years old. so i cannot know everything..
still learning day by day..


greets

i forgot to ask.. ( im a long time busy to translate your replys)
but what kind of job are you doing now?
teacher in self defence
and personal trainer?

do you have a website?
greets

eyes and balls and vitals--sounds good to me. what i was teaching was--for a time, only throat and knees largely. i think we understand each other just fine.

i was brought up in a small british town in surrey--called godstone. it was once a working class town, no more though. my dad bought our house for about 4000 in sterling then. i've seen the same shit house about 5 years ago going for 400,000. ha ha ha. they're pushing my old traditional village as quaint now--which sells i guess. the pub i used to eat beans on toast in, now serves nachos and every other global bar-snack. so if that's what you mean by 'where are you from'. i'm brit to the core. otherwise: my dad's a scot, and my mom was a multiracial south african from johannesburg. i grew up hearing both english and afrikaans--but mostly english. the dutch was when i wasn't meant to hear something (ha). otherwise, we've lived all over--in varying degrees of the upper end of lower class, and the lower end of the middle class, depending on the standard of living of those around: morocco/senegal/gambia/portugal/england/america--anywhere my journalist dad's job took us.

life influences people i think. for me, it made me loosen the ties i had with any one particular belief system or martial art system or cultural background of the company i kept. i know i'm from a specific place, but i also feel like i'm from no-where. i know what religion i grew up with (church of england), but i also feel like it's the kata i let go of exploring the full range of all workable techniques most applicable to my needs.

you're wise to say what you did about politics and religion. usually i know better. every once in a great while, just like my dog when i gets too close to some table food, i forget myself and show my cards.

also: my job is a physical education teacher (for all ages). in schools that include kids from 10 to 18--on average.

i have often taught shotokan to kids at risk; kids of lower income; kids from homeless families in transition. i've also bartered self defense classes when i need something like a dog trainer for my dog--to cut costs of such things.
now i teach only 'self defense'--with no affiliations of formal martial arts. i only give my background, and my influences, to show people from where i get my ideas--to include some examples from real life and how they shaped the changes i've made.

self defense stuff ends up being small groups, infrequent classes...with people generally not being as enthusiastic about it as i am. sometimes though i get good students, but with other circumstances getting in the way. but it's all good. i teach so that i can train, and also give something to someone else at the same time. i fight like a dirty boxer with severl low kicks to tilt the scales--nothing more than that. since finding out about Richie and Bob, head controls and some knowledge of grappling has been added for good measure. and alot of mindset stuff. i spend a great portion of the time mentally preparing students. i've met too many skilled friends who have caved under pressure, and i've seen enough unskilled but mentally strong guys fare better than they should have. so this has played a role in the changes too.

okay that s a nice story!
You ever been to holland also?
i like to go to the states soon.
i really really like to go to the get together from the dog brothers.! im saving money for that.. also i like to train one time with richie in england.

Dont you miss europe? or is it nice living in Washington? yesterday i saw a nice movie about a dj in washington the movie called talking to me! from a black guy petey..
i enjoyed the movie a lot.

the willing ness to fight is indde important. you cant learn it from a book i think.. when i was a marine i went for some sniper mission in bosnie.. nothing happened, till we were at a checkpoint and 2 serbian people dont wanna stop... my heart was pounding in my chest!! but i had to do something.
after this situation my fear of confrontation in holland or somewhere else was almost gone.

Im teaching also fighting and i have 2 great students.. 2 doorman also..
but i found it really difficult to train their mindset..
one of them fight always , but hes always scared he say to me honostly, but the other one because of his presence nobody want to fight him.. and believe it or not, but he never fought a real fight in his life!
he did freefight, but never on the street..
my only advise to him is.. search the fight as soon as possible, to overcome your fear.
thats why he now work as doorman only on saterdays.

i hope one day we can all meet in real life, because words according to nlp are only 8 percent of the communication.. haha

greets

i miss england, italy, france--alot and in that order. i've never been to holland. whenever i go over seas--london first/then my home town/then paris if we can foot the bill/then italy to relatives of my wife's (who are in fact irish, but live there)/we also get to ireland sometimes. i miss traveling BIG TIME. but with a 2 year old, and a new born, and one of the lowest paid jobs on the planet (i'm the only one working in addition to that), traveling is not something i'll get for a while. you mentioned 'dog brothers'. those kinds of things i would probably have trouble doing because of time and money. i'd love to train/meet/travel. i haven't given up on the idea. i'm just trying not to think it will be any time soon--to avoid feeling stuck geographically.

i used to travel alot. sleep on floors. sleep in trains. go to hostels. my situation changed. maybe you'll get married and have some kids and it wont take any kind of explanation

even as i write this...i really should have been on my bike on the way home 15 minutes ago (ha ha).

DC is nice. i like an area called the mall (where all the monuments and stuff are...because of the open space). i don't like small spaces. i think this quality in me makes me fight better by a flaw in my make-up. i hate being held down, cramped up in a crowded place, etc... in DC, there are still open places to enjoy--and there are also plenty of things to do if you have money and/or are single. everybody travels here. the rich sort of take up 25% of the city...the rest is government and working class. it's really 'town and gown' over here. locals are working class. visiters come for universities/colleges/partying and short term stays...i think anyone would like DC if they knew someone here and where to go, and who to know--that sort of thing.

all i know of holland i've seen in spy movies--i like what i've seen but i'm sure there's more to it.

for sure!! if you come to holland i can show you nice places of history..
and youre welcome to my place ive 8 bed rooms. to much for my own..
but for now its okay

maby i go to america soon i like to meet some good fighters..

in holland i know them all

greets!!

hiya,
if you still have the 8 bedrooms by the time we have some cash put together, expect a visit...cheers!!

Nice.. but better come in summer.. now its rainy for 7 months or soo..
greets

Can I stay too sometime in the Summer? I'm coming to Holland in the Summer.

where are you from lonewof? and whats the reason you go to Holland?

greets

this video answers some of my questions.. this guy is really really an alpha male..

http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=etArvM1WUE4

@ chulodog
Interesting job opportunity perhaps?
Taken from the Dog Brothers forum: (link- http://dogbrothers.com/phpBB2/index.php?topic=1738.0)

Woof All:

My name is Marc "Crafty Dog" Denny. Some of you may know me as "the Guiding Force" of "the Dog Brothers" and/or the Head Instructor of Dog Brothers Martial Arts. www.dogbrothers.com . Today I speak as Dog Brothers Inc.

I have been asked by a well established Producer with a good track record in doing athletically-oriented television series for major networks to help develop a television show based upon stick and other weaponry fights, so I am looking for fighters. For the right men, this could be a very special opportunity to build a career doing something you love.

I need to be vague on the vision for the show at the moment and how much money is involved. That is the way it must be for now. Once we see who we have, "the story will tell itself"(tm) and we will know which of visions we have for the show will be the right one, and you will have a chance to decide if it is right for you.

Although much of the fighting will be similar to our "Dog Brother Real Contact Stickfighting" (see the fight clips at
http://www.dogbrothers.com/pages/multimedia.html to get an idea) know that the fighting here will be , , , well, it will be
something that has never been seen before.

This does NOT mean it will be more dangerous or more painful , , , necessarily wink

As I write this in Mid-November 2008, we are looking at a time frame of several months.

Those selected first will be part of the pilot and the rest will be brought on stream as things move forward. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE CONSIDERED FOR BECOMING A PART OF THIS, well, 90% of Life is showing up. We need to see the following
from you:

1) a one page RESUME. The resume should include the following:
a) age, height, weight, citizenship, languages, website/mypage/etc. if any,
b) martial arts background: systems, styles, teachers, fighting experience, competitive athletic background etc.
c) contact info

2) Photos:
a) Head Shot
b) Full Body shot. Not to worry if you are not body beautiful.

3) DEMO REEL: The Demo Reel should have two sections.

A: The PHYSICAL section:

Please demonstrate fight skills with your preferred weapons. Ideally this will be both solo (we'd like to see the nature of your movement) AND with/against others. Of course, we are more interested in the latter.

If you don't have/have access to your fight footage, please state briefly and clearly what your fight experience is (and isn't). Simple honesty, no puffery please. Remember, the bullshit that gets you in the door also gets you out the door.

These are the possible areas of interest to us.

a) Double stick
b) Single stick
c) Staff
d) knife
e) emptyhand skills: MMA or otherwise
f) gun skills (pistol, rifle, or paintball)
g) other (e.g. sword and shield, whip, nunchaku, fencing, etc)
h) footage that indicates your athleticism, your strength and
conditioning level, etc..

Total running time no more than FIVE MINUTES:

B: A PERSONALITY SECTION. This section is optional. Maximum time: Three minutes. Note that a good one minute is better than three minutes of chatter. Please simply talk to the camera about why you do what you do, where you could picture something like this fitting in your life, and so forth. JUST BE YOURSELF. Conventional and off-beat are good, so too are funny and serious, and crude and cosmic! JUST BE YOURSELF!


Please send your resume and Demo Reel/Disc to

Marc "Crafty Dog" Denny
Attention: TV Project
703 Pier Ave #664
Hermosa Beach, CA 90254

And of course, the submissions and the contents thereof become the property of Dog Brothers Inc.!

The Adventure begins!
Marc "Crafty Dog" Denny
Dog Brothers Inc.

Thank you maija!
i was a long time thinking to put a video on internet of my teaching and training..
only my ex girlfriend is a star in commercial bussiness in holland.. well known and have all the contacts to nice advertise and so on..
but it is my ex now
Still i like to film it and let other people enjoy new approach of fighting.

Only, im a compete moran with technical stuff.. i dont even know how to put a photo on internet...

And you? you send a movie in??

Greets!!

chulodog ...no not me!! Apart from anything else, personally, I can't think of anything worse than being on American TV. I threw mine out over 10 years ago.
On the other hand ... for someone else it might be a great opportunity ....?

yes? why you hate it so much? i can understand why, i also dont like everybody to see my skills, but if it makes money to train and act a bit its very nice!!

im interested why you dont like.. bad experience?
greets