Alpha Male Counter Tactics

Hi kicktheirbutts - sounds like you've got a typical alpha male there.In general these guys are not popular people; if people laugh with them it is usually to placate them sometimes it works other times it does'nt they just go one step further in the domination stakes.Your other work mates must feel the same about him - get them on your side.If you feel your moral boundries are being 'crossed' by this guy remember the mindset of 'righteous indignation' this works...do unto others as they would do to you - nobody goes to work for aggro,try and avoid him, give him enough rope to hang himself, when he starts pissing off everybody you will have allies.
He has already decided you are not violent - good - you now have witnessess that you are'nt; if he thinks you are not violent and continues,he is a bully and a coward - EVERY bully gets their justice in the end mate.. believe me.

guys this is a really good thread, ive just done a little video clip for next weeks tutorial on this subject

first off we need to clear up a few points:

DYT, define your terms, yes you are getting the picture that Im a bit anally retentive about terminology, linguistics and etymology but we create our maps of reality by "painting picture with words" if we use words sloppily we are mixing paint and making a mess... and that is one laboured metaphor

Alpha Male please take 60 seconds out to scan this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_male

so we are all on the same page

Quote :

genetics of a population if they are the only ones who breed successfully.

Chimpanzees show deference to the alpha of the community by ritualised gestures such as bowing, allowing the alpha to walk first in a procession, or standing aside when the alpha challenges. Canines also show deference to the alpha pair in their pack, by allowing them to be the first to eat and, usually, the only pair to mate; wolves are a good example of this. The status of the alpha is generally achieved by means of superior physical prowess; however, in certain highly social species such as the bonobo and humans, a contender can use more indirect methods, such as political alliances, to oust the ruling alpha and take his/her place.

In humans, the expression refers to a man who is powerful or high on the social ladder, similar to hegemonic masculinity.

if we use the term in its biolgical sense strictly there is no malice implicit whatsoever- the human who is the alpha male IS the boss... NOT someone trying to be the boss!

the way we are using the term alpha male here on this form is more like the way the guys in the PUA community use it... they have a term which is AMOG (alpha male of group) he is the guy hanging out with the girls the PUA person is trying to pick up who gets in your way and tries to bully/intimidate/test and socially devalue... the PUA guys have actually developed techniques for dealing with alpha males called DEMOGGING whereby they steal the "alpha"s social value via the cunning use of linguistics... some of it is pretty naive if you want to know more pick up Neil Strauss's book "the Game" - fascinating slice of tasty pop psychology and will help you be more confident with birds, double bonus

some of the strategies they use are naive and dangerous- like slapping the AMOG on the back so hard he spills his drink, accusing him of being homosexual- stuff that could cause a scrap- but hey they are pick up artists not self protection artists!

so really we should say "wannabe Alphas" or "Betas"... because betas are the ones in the chimp packs who wait in the wings for the current alpha to get old so they can beat him to death, kill his offspring and rape the females of the group (etchnic cleansing a genetic echo behaviour?)... they wait for the moment... like a snake...

"Beta"s are insecure, status focussed and looking for power, True Alphas know they are the shiznit and dont seek for any external approval and certainly wouldnt have the need to do penis comparisons and testing of other males

What Im saying is, lets not hate on Alpha male behaviour (homies), its a good thing to be the boss and doesnt imply insecure bullying ...necessarily.

Some males, usually of this insecure Beta type NEED you to show them you are the boss, they are like dogs and get confused and restless if they dont understand the status quo.

Kicktheirbutts, I think that pom is a text book beta who actually verbalised "i do not want to fight that other male he would win" I'll bet he is a lot calmer from know on around you even when interacting with other people in your presence. You will occassionally need to cuff him like a Lion with his cubs when they piss around too much. But he will love it. The sick little puppy.

Speaking of Ozzies, I learnt a lot of good psychology by watching the late great Steve Irwin talking about handling animals... apparently Lions will not often look at their human handlers, because to look at them would show interest and regard. Lions do not "TEST" their human handlers the way that dogs will, because they already know they are the bigger beast whereas dogs are not quite sure. And sometimes dogs win that mindgame... you will all know at least one person who is scared of their dog and cant get them to get off the bed/ the couch/ out of the car etc

Watch some Cesar Milan "the dog whisperer" for more good applied animal psychology. He refers constantly to "pack leader mentality" (alpha of group) as manifesting as calm asertive energy.

Some humans are stuck in (literally) primitive ways of thinking/ being and NEED you to give them a slap.

so "Wannabe Alphas" or "Beta"s

please

Very interesting stuff. I've read the game and other variations of the alpha tactics in there. It's good stuff. Personally I think certain things about how you present yourself makes a huge impact on your alpha status. Such as body language, the way you talk, sort of initiating stuff rather than following others, etc. Especially with using dominant body language I think a lot of people mess up by taking themselves too seriously. The result is they seem to be covering up insecurity to me. The real alpha is dominant and all, but relaxed, and doesen't take himself too seriously, which is what makes him cool.

Very interesting post Richard.

The PUA community does have alot of confidence building techniques intertwined with alot of naive B.S. But it's all a good read and it does help you with the chicks!

An alpha for sure in my opinion is defined as that guy who is calm, cool and confident (and gets all the chicks, haha) but to simplify I call people who are loud, and try to dominate a social situation, people who use "alpha behaviour" this is only because it is simple to refer to it this way. Even though it might contrast to actual alpha behaviour.

Body language is VERY important!

Interesting, I did think he was alpha before, but reading your post Richie I realize he isn't.

He talks all this shit obviously trying to make up for something, and he isn't actually in any control, he does seem to have calmed down a bit around me. And I actually noticed some people last night when he did it to them basically look at him like "you are a dickhead" and not even give him a reply. Maybe I was just blind to that before.

One bonus of working in a bar, I get to see all this wannabe alpha behaviour, the stuff like when a guy comes and puts his arm around you trying to intimidate you. It used to make me uncomfortable but now I am comfortable with it and can deal with it and because I react different it seems to go (with them) from "im trying to intimidate you" to "i'm doing this because I think your a cool guy. I usually just put my arm back around them and be friendly, "hey man hows your night going etc" and it works.

Though I did witness some good alpha behaviour, this guy I know who is very confident and i'm kind of friends with. I was drinking water from a bottle. And he come and shook my hand and smoothly grabbed my water to have a drink, and then he walked off keeping the rest of it.

I was a little surprised, but then smiled to myself thinking 'that is fucking awesome, I can learn from that'. This guy is more of an alpha he doesn't go around trying to overcompensate, he is in control though.

After watching Richie's video on this I had a memory about a guy I used to know at the local pub. Good lad, really nice and I knew him at school and college too - whether is was alpha or alpha-wannabe is debateable although he did have quite a command of the room and the social circle more often than now so I would argue that he was not necessarily trying to be top-dog but actually saw himself as being so.

The grabbing of arms, headlock, rubbing top of the head and stuff like that is something I feel uncomfortable with because it is a definite domineering action in my mind and it sets me on edge. This was easier to deal with but in one case I can clearly remember this progressed to a way-too-much crotch grab. My way out of this way to out my hand on his shoulder in a 'matey' kind of way but to have a slight pressure from my thumb and finger on a couple of pressure points on his neck - enough pressure for him to subconciously realise it was on purpose but not ebough to be outwardly agressive. This worked. I think he sensed that with a decent dig into these points it would hurt but it was not an outward display which could have ended up boosting his superior sense and ego.

Not sure how this would work with a complete stranger but a good case in point I hope

Thanks for the video Richie on alpha males.

I have learnt alot about this behaviour from work. And can deal with it pretty good now, but your video gave me a few extra pointers that I have been doing last night.

Occasionally it has to be done the other way. There was this guy last week who when I asked his friend to leave he come and grabbed me. And I told him to get out, he was talking alot of shit but walked out.

Last night he come and bumped me to see my reaction in an obvious smart ass way. So I grabbed him and looked at him and said "look cunt, if you keep acting like this you will be on your ass, and then I will throw you outside". He totally backed down and come and apologized later and was friendly after that.