Sharif's Pressure Testing of my Knife Offence Tutorial

clip 1



very well reasoned, Sharif found it necessary to tweak the technique to make it work better

interesting at about 2.22 about the palm strike, it LOOKS as though the knife man is just being too compliant and dying easily but that head shot really does stop you for a second

clip 2




two drills which challenge the received wisdom of

when faced with a knife you should

1. run

2. find an equaliser


Curran and Shar found the same thing as me, anything that deviates much from attacking the attacker presents an opportunity for you to get more cuts and stabbed by the knifer

clip 3



so enjoyable to see other people get sliced to shit when the knifeman is really going for you

every defenisve tactic fails, only offensive tactics seem to have any effect (if any, sometimes they utterly fail!)

5.20

its amazing what happens when the footwork changes i.e. when your attacker moves into your space and you move into his space and when you collide which is much closer represtentaion of an aggression fuelled street attack that is committed than a calm , careful sporting based paradigm of "feeling your opponent out" they are similar but DIFFERENT in ways that are crucial





got to credit Mick C for getting my head around that one

That was amaizing--makes for a fine example of the rigor and seriousness which should be indicicative of
this forum.

Really thorough and well reasoned wording. Nice to watch. A nice compliment to Richie's stuff in that under
conditions of pressure and effort--findings are predictably similar. If there was ever such a thing as the science
of self protection, this one has reinforced by way of negating what doesn't work, to prove a hypothesis.

Frankly, it's nice [doesn't always happen] that something so dramatic as 'attack the attacker' can transcend
hand-to-hand, and also represent a sound SP for dealing with knife attacks. I like that the conclusions of all
stay with, "increasing your odds/chances/strategies/survival" type wording and not fool proof tall claims.

Made my day
Good on ya Shar

What Russ said.

Now, the knife-defense myths that keep showing up untrue are fairly significant. Especially the one about simply running.

And what if you introduce normal everyday stuff into the drills. Like talk. The criminal interview. Maybe with entirely normal conversations and disengagement just like all the people you might converse with on a day to day basis. Only attacking in some of the drills. I figure that those shrinking margins of error, awareness and reaction time would just make it all the more true.

Thanks guys. It was fun and educational doing it.

The only thing I don't like about the clips is the amount of times I say "basically" As I was editing it, I quickly realized I was doing it. I know somebody who, when publicly speaking, just CAN NOT stop herself from saying "you know".

So new competition... another pint for the person who counts how many times I say "basically"

Thanks again. I truly hope this helps people interested in real SP.

PS - RichieB, very good point! On the subject of introducing conversation into the drill, if you look closely, Curran kind of talks to himself, but without actually forming the words. I think this is a really good habit he's developed. He does it instinctively from doing pre-emption drills where we do actually talk to the pads.

Sharif H wrote:

He does it instinctively from doing pre-emption drills where we do actually talk to the pads.

glad i'm not the only one
i've taken to drilling blank face[when i work with humans]; and theatrically on the pads--for the isolation afforded in my two padwork areas:
to include pacing, stepping in, and getting a bit mental. here are only two i can loosen up around for drills--who enjoy the
full transition themselves.

I enjoyed the videos and the drills immensely, you and Curran did a great job. I am a big fan of going into attack mode as the best possible solution when defending against knife, gun and empty hand as a general rule.

I have been a proponent of the run, equalize, and neutralize response to edged weapons defense. But based on common sense IE: if they are on top of you, you don’t try to cross the room to pick something up to bash them with… it’s go time.

I have a couple of observations… In the first clip when drawing the knife, first you know that he is going to draw a knife and you have a predetermined response. Which makes each of your reactions fairly fast and after a couple of times, you each try to get faster than the other… sort of a game. Your reaction was to strike while creating space… ok so what if it turned out to be a gun. After all you didn’t know he was pulling a knife did you?

Your current training environment is what I call a sterile environment, meaning there is nothing around you. No tables, chairs, other people, display racks etc. etc. So lets take the question of at what distance is it more feasible to simply run. Well in a sterile environment, you found that if they were determined you were done. I have tried that in a bar environment with all the normal obstacles (friend owned a bar at the time), and it was a whole different egg. I even pulled a chair down when I passed it causing some issues with my assailant. As far as using an equalizer… I agree completely that when they are on top of you then its go time… no time for anything else. But lets look at this possibility, you are working behind a bar and a guy says I’m going to kill you, draws his knife and is running to get around the bar. Now there is a little time here before they can get to you and you have a baton behind the bar, should you ignore using it. Not me I will use it because it is feasible for me to obtain it before I’m being hacked to death.

Again I am not saying anything against the techniques presented and I am in total agreement with the go into attack mode as the best choice. I am just defending my current thought process of run, equalize and neutralize philosophy. I say current because everything is subject to change.

Crap I have to go, but will be back later, promised wife and daughter I’d take them to a annual carnival… She’s nagging me right now…. Owe she just hit me… dam now she hit me for writing that…

Quote :

ok so what if it turned out to be a gun. After all you didn’t know he was pulling a knife did you?

Great question. I say great, because I was gonna ask it too It was actually one of the reasons I came online, to ask Richie about how to feels about simultaneously grabbing the weapon-drawing arm whilst simultaneously hitting.

This is how I was originally trained. And is probably still hardwired into my system at this point that if I had to defend against a 'quick-draw' it's probably what I'd do.

You can see Curran do it here in this clip at 3:43



Against a knife, I'd say it makes perfect sense to stun and run (bearing in mind that the 'stun' could KO them). But against a gun, then yeah, maybe not so good. But then, how would you know what they were going for?



Richie?

Just had a chance to watch these. Nice work Shar
I like what Roadkill said about working in a more natural environment with objects to avoid, hide behind, throw, stall an attacker etc. Might be a nice add up. In the documentary the Dog Brothers made, Sonny talked about how he would pick rocks up from the road to use as ammo if he was walking through dangerous areas ... which is funny now I think about it, as it was the same thing I did through Asia to fend off the roaming dogs you'd come across ....
Anyway, Sonny also had us start from sitting down on the couch in his living room/workout space, and see what happens then (not good, in case you were wondering!). We also worked around other people in the room - hiding behind them, working around them being in the way, or even having them help the attacker unexpectedly. I remember legging it out the french doors into the front yard quite often ....

I'd be interested to hear about the gun thing too ..... Again, out in a more natural environment with obstacles, alongside not running away in a straight line, perhaps the same strategy applies to gun as with knife? Or perhaps not ....?

Quote :

Against a knife, I'd say it makes perfect sense to stun and run (bearing in mind that the 'stun' could KO them). But against a gun, then yeah, maybe not so good. But then, how would you know what they were going for?



Richie?

pffft... how should I know?



first thing is I agree with Phils points

1. the drill ended up becoming a quick draw contest, which is fine in and of itself (develops combative attributes) but may be deviating from representing reality (drills can have both benefits right? one is developing attributes the other is representing reality so... just to be aware like)

2. in a not so sterile environment, especially of you manage to get a strike in, running may be more expedient an option BUT I still think there is a problem with the lazy habit of repeating the recieved wisdom that some folk (you know the types, the smart arses who want to sound like they know something) have where they just knmeejerk spew out

- run

or

- get a weapon

without qualification. Because, as we have seen neither is all that easy.

I would equate that to people who say "oh yeah, I'd fight a cagefighter, yeah, I'd eyegouge him, bite his face, headbutt him blah blah blah" like these things are going to be just so easy to do and by the way what is our MMA friend to be doing whilst you work your magic tricks?


obviously in the example you gave Phil of someone running around a bar that is very very different to someone going off in front of you... different to the tune of perhaps 3 to 5 whole seconds - VERY, very different indeed

as the DVD you made and sent me showed and Shar and Curran found inthe vids, its really shocking when you run the test just how quickly the fucker can get across the space and stick it in you when there is nothing in the way

really shocking

so yes, run

if

they are themsevles 3- 5 seconds sprinting distance away from you!!!

in an active environment thats a fairly longish stretch of bar to benny hill your way around

and on the flat in an open sterile environment must equate to 15 metres or more!

so the qualification should be: run or find a weapon if they are a good distance away from you and you have time



and even then you have to ask... run? always? how far and how fast?

Im 210 pounds

a skinny angry kid of 120 pounds wants to stab me


isnt his best bet turning my back into a pin cushion as he catches me up on the 100 metre sprint?

(and he will, ok bubba moves fast for a fat bloke for the first 100 metres but after that? bubba tired )


isnt HIS "worst case scenario" if I turn and bitch slap the taste out of his mouth, grab him by his girly wrists and shake the shit out of him?


so the qualification should maybe be: use your head, respond to the cirumstances, improvise, adapt, overcome


but Im not smarter than any of you lot, run the experiments find what works and let me know

even better if you can video it



"what if its a gun?"

yep

"what is he's just a distraction and they are giving the fillipino switcheroo so the real knifer can shank you good and deep while you play pat a cake with his mate?"

yep

"what if your arm is in a sling?"

yep



intelligent self protection solutions... ask the questions, come up with some intelligent justifiable workable solutions

can you tell if its a gun or not before he draws it?

if not do we need to seek to create panacea techniques that can deal with knife AND gun draws, or do we see the weapon and have one SOP for stepping in the other stepping out ?

realistically?

whilst your walkin round thinkin about what your having for tea and picking your nose someone steps in front of you- (how helpful!) verbally engages you (giving you time to think, they ARE helpful arent they?) then they decide to stab or shoot you, then they go to draw the weapon (gosh, if they had just got it out first and done you in the back their lives would have been so much easier wouldnt they?!) and you "neutralise" it using your pretrained technique?

really?

I doubt it... beyond a certain point this stuff stops being realistic self protection and becomes hobbyist mental masturbation "martial- arts- in- street- clothing- with -swearing" , which is fun and perfectly valid as a combatively themed exercise in critical thought and solution creation but NOT particularly relevant self protection: lets keep perspective

I could train to defend myself against 3 gay ninjas trying to attack me in my bed at 4 in the morning, but Im more likely to get into a fight in a busy bar at 12am on a saturday night- soooo, should I neglect the gay ninja scenario? I probably will, does that make me negligent?

But look, seriously, you can find your own solutions, no problem, just treat it like a psychology experiment/ time and motion study- get specific, get empirical

I mean, as long as you are asking specific questions and being emprical you can find your own answers

I for one wont be staying awake at night pondering the "what if the guy who tries to draw in front of me is actually drawing a gun not a knife, shouldt I use a different technique?" um, dude, if your in that place, your in a very bad place, its going to be a clusterfuck whatever happens, train hard before hand, when it happens, use your head, if you have to, get in there, do your best and let God decide if someone really wants to get me they will, if they fuck up or are amateurish then maybe I will get away with a scar and a good story

dont torture yourselves, enjoy your training, be sensible, life is short

[quote="Richard Grannon"]

Quote :

BUT I still think there is a problem with the lazy habit of repeating the recieved wisdom that some folk (you know the types, the smart arses who want to sound like they know something) have where they just knmeejerk spew out

- run

or

- get a weapon

without qualification. Because, as we have seen neither is all that easy.

Absolutely.... wouldn't it be nice if it were just that simple. There are just too many variables and possible scenarios.

Richard Grannon wrote:

"what if its a gun?"

yep

"what is he's just a distraction and they are giving the fillipino switcheroo so the real knifer can shank you good and deep while you play pat a cake with his mate?"

yep

"what if your arm is in a sling?"

yep

I understand that the what if game could be played all day and that really was not my intention. My intention was merely to point out that the current pressure test had eliminated a bunch of variables that I feel are pertinent before one can say that, running will get you killed or attempting to equalize will get you killed. Just like one cannot say, I'll simply run away.

I really am not a what if this and what if that kind of person, it's an endless game. Gun or knife possibilities are very real on my sliver of the planet. Guns are far more common here than there, so having panacea techniques would be the ultimate, would it not. Not likely going to happen on a technique level as much as it could on a conceptual level. They are different beasts.

Richard Grannon wrote:

whilst your walkin round thinkin about what your having for tea and picking your nose someone steps in front of you- (how helpful!) verbally engages you (giving you time to think, they ARE helpful arent they?) then they decide to stab or shoot you, then they go to draw the weapon (gosh, if they had just got it out first and done you in the back their lives would have been so much easier wouldnt they?!) and you "neutralise" it using your pretrained technique?

really?

I don't think I was heading in that direction... was I?

Quote :

I don't think I was heading in that direction... was I?

no you werent mate but the general thread was AND to be honest most peoples training paradigm has already shifted to this place long ago!

face to face, with time and space, "what response can I force into this situation or what response can I make to this attack"- its a great place in which to develop combative attributes but a crappy representation of reality and out drills should do BOTH

and the "what if" game wasnt aimed at anyone specific- I think its a cool game to play actually, very fun:

this is sometimes how I used to run classes, if someone asked the question-

"what if he does this?"

I'd say

"ok everyone go away and come up with 3 different solutions, then lets pool it and see what we get"

then break stuff down, see what works, why you would do it, what principles you are working from, the what if game is fine, to DO, but NOT to talk about I dont think

so when I was saying

"yep"

I am saying "yep" thats fine, lets look at that individually, but not lazily seek a simple solution via the medium of the forum, do it try it, video it see what happens- just be specific and define your objectives

so for the gun thing: how far a part will you be stood? is your objective to disarm him? just not to get shot? to knock him out? where and when is your POA (point of awareness) artifically built into the scenario- i.e. at what point in this game of lets pretend are we going to pretend that you are NOW aware the chap is reaching for a weapon with violent intent?




its absolutely fine, more than fine, its fun, gets people creative and thinking

but its the training context that provides the relevant skillsets thats important more than endless discussion of techniques

"to immobilise the arm or not?" - will there be a time and a place, of course!!! I push people not trying to immobilise the arm because it is COMMONLY taught but commonly FAILS in high pressure non compliant drills

above all else we must seek to avoid dogma

all dogma


"running away is the best option" and "running away will get you killed" are equally dogmatic

(one is not less dogmatic because it happens to be my point of view, as though my point of view or opinion is going to make a blind bit of difference when reality bites!!!)

there is teaching people dogmatic axioms pertinent to combative situations

and there is teaching people to THINK in regards to combatively relevant questions

Im for the former, teach people how to come up with their own techniques and solutions

Cheers........ Well said.

Richard Grannon wrote:

above all else we must seek to avoid dogma

all dogma

But I love dog, especially with teriyaki sauce.

Nice vids, Sharif. Thanks for posting Ritchie, I was going to do a little review of your Knife offense DVD, because I managed to watch it last week. This says it all better.

I am afraid I am/was an advocate of the run or get a weapon because that is what i tell my 11 year old. I dont want him challenging the blade wielder, I want him gone as soon as he gets a hint of it. But now I think I am going to have to address it. The vids show the 21 foot rule that Guru Gaje emphasised in the 1980's for LEO training excellently. If the BG is close, you dont have time.

What I tell my son is at odds with how I train, which is exactly what you demoed on the knife offense vid & Sharif is showing.

Offence first, get them down or incapacitated for escape.

Weirdly, as Carl first taught me this, it is very hard to have a sensible conversation about it with the people I train with. The only guy who took it onboard was Ross, Army guy who broke my schnozz running this exact drill.

Its certainly making me think. I looked at the red zone stuff & DBMA DLO again after watching the knife offense vid, & I like them less & less. I would say that in training where I can get & keep a grip, the pekiti-tirsia style manips work, but would they work in the real world?

But the real question is what do I teach my young man? Does he have the maturity to know what decision to make? I didn't. When I was twelve, I was round at a friends house & he found a penknife at the bottom Of a draw. Opened it & just went for me. I got it off him But got lots & lots of little cuts, which all bled profusely. He thought it was funny. My Mum went nuts!

I suppose the reality is to train not to let the hands get anywhere near you & headshot, headshot, headshot. In fact perhaps that is all we should be training. If 80% of knife victims don't know that they were attacked with a knife until post event, we should be treating every encounter in exactly the same manner. Oh yeah, thats right, thats why palm to face f****** hard is my default for anything front or side.

Anyway, ramble , ramble, nothing of any weight to add.

Just very good job Sharif & Curran. Best of luck with business.

Quote :

I suppose the reality is to train not to let the hands get anywhere near you & headshot, headshot, headshot. In fact perhaps that is all we should be training. If 80% of knife victims don't know that they were attacked with a knife until post event, we should be treating every encounter in exactly the same manner. Oh yeah, thats right, thats why palm to face f****** hard is my default for anything front or side.

This is something I agree a lot with. I suppose some things wil always require some degree of special consideration, but this set-up covers a lot of ground, and is extremely simple.

I knew RichB was goin to say that - and I agree to a larger extent, you do kind of need to treat your unarmed and your armed work in similar ways because you are possibly (probably?) not going to know whether he is holding a knife, certainly there is much anecdotal evidence of people saying "I thought he was punching me, then I saw the blood"

when I got glassed my statement read the same way "I thought he slapped me, then I heard the glass break, then I felt something running down my face"

Blackops, I sympathise mate, I would not feel comfortable teaching an 11 year old to get stuck in, but I imagine and hope the level of threat he would face as a kid would be less than we would face as adults- is an adult likely to try and stab him? more likely to be another kid right?- but if you were living in south london... well that just doesnt bear out, plenty of teen to teen lethal knife attacks

so my rather boring answer would be to get his head around social intelligence, good communication skils, knowing when a situation has gone south and dissapearing before it anything bad happens - a bit of "street sense" would probably go further than specific techniques which MIGHT encourage a younger person to engage

"my dad showed me what to do , I could run, but I'll stand instead and do what he showed me" type of thing in which case you've got the horror of potentially teaching him to do something that might get him injured



not really too sure what I'd tell a child of mine... hmmm... needs pondering- anyone got anthing?

Quote :

"martial- arts- in- street- clothing- with -swearing"

Funnily enough, Richie, I was in South London today on my way to teach a private student (who also coincidently wanted to learn knife defence). Brixton to be specific (where that Danny Dyer video was filmed, Blackops), 1st time I've been there in a while. I tell you what, you can just feel the threat level in some parts. Like literally, you'll be on a nice-enough high street then you turn a corner and "uh-oh, I do believe i've just shat my self"

Blackops, it's a tough one mate. I'm not even gonna try to say "teach him this or that". However, those rapid palm strikes to the face... that's pretty much all I show my GF. It's simple. It works.
I think it's the most overlooked technique/tactic in SP/CQC. It's so simple, people often write it off. But as i'm sure you've felt for your self... they F folk up pretty bad. Just look at how it messed with Curran's flow as he came at me with the knife. It works on two levels, one of course is physical. Impact to the head. Simples. The other is psychologically; triggering that reflexive flinchy thing that we all love so much.




Again, I'm not saying "here, this will solve all your SP problems". But it's one of those "if I could only teach you one thing" type of things. If that makes sense.

At the end of the day, I dare say I DO have a solve-all solution for all the problems raised in this thread. Super-Alert Ninja Awareness. See the threat before it sees you. My environment (and adolescent post-mugging paranoia) caused me to develop awareness to such a degree that I've hardly ever had to use physical techniques for real. I've honestly lost count of the times I've seen the bad guys and just avoided them. I'll even say it's probably saved my life. But i've found it's a hard thing to teach. Nobody taught me. Life taught me. Sorry if this sounds arrogant or know-it-all-ish. But man, esp with kids... awareness awareness awareness. Easier said than taught. Wrote a whole frikkin book on the subject I'm still trying to get published...

Anyway, thanks for the kind words by the way, Blackops

Sorry , feel like I co-opted the thread. I do apologise & will try to be brief.

I've always told him to run & we've been over the little tough guy act that he does, that he wouldnt run, he'd tell them to go away or hit them etc. He see's it from a kid, not a teenager point of view, i.e. younger & sillier. We have talked about it because it has obviously been on the news a lot this year & last. I suspect he has taken on board the seriousness of something like that, that he shouldnt get involved, that he should shout "fire, Fire" or make a fuss, but create distance & find help.

There is a tinge of paranoia too it on my part, I acknowledge, but then we had an attempted terroist bombing, who would have thought that? (Well I always did to be honest. Royal Marine Commando are based just outside at Lympstone.)

I guess I want to give him the best advice, but is he old enough to be told it & understand that the circumstances have to be right, I mean he cant run, really, he is a knock kneed little devil. (he looks just like me & is 5'10'' at 11.)

You wonder if this advice might have helped Ben Kinsella or any other stabbing victims, I suspect it would but how would you tell?

The awareness of your surroundings is primary, virtually impossible to observe in him at his age. For instance this evening I hear a loud repeated banging noise in the kitchen & come in to find him beating his boot soles together, to get the mud off. Its up the walls, over the cooker, over the table. Why didnt he go outside? "Didnt realize." God help me. Nearly wrang his neck.
So yeah that will come with experience & age. Some kid punched him out of the blue when he was cycling home the other day, only in the leg......School days. He has had virtually no hassle at his new school since week one when two kids ganged up & one hit him & he put him in a headlock.

To be honest we only wrestle about & I lock him & let him do the same back, head control, R.N.C., the only real thing I have ever showed him or got him to practise on a punch ball (now sadly deflated, its got a leak) was palm striking

Amusingly, My cousin Ben (not fat) came over a little while ago & we had the punch ball in the kitchen, very little air in it. Ben says to Jago "I will teach you how to punch" & J says "Dad already showed me, I do this" & whacks the deflated ball with a palm,
Ben says "No, You should do this" & punches the bloody thing as hard as he can. Fist sinks in and smacks hard into the plastic base & and he starts bleeding everywhere. Idiot.

Flinch response is a great idea, actually sharif. Thanks boys. Your making me think.

I think I can feel for your situation, Blackops.

I'd say 11 is a weird age. Not quite the little boy who doesn't have to worry about fighting, but not grown up enough to take the subject of self defence seriously either. You may find that this weird middle ground is there until he reaches about 14. I think that's when most boys start really addressing 'man' issues... i.e women (or girls anyway) and fighting. The two go hand in hand... how to impress the girls, how to protect the girls, how to fend off other male contenders. So animalistic isn't it?

His height may prevent him being selected as a victim in most cases anyway. I went to a fairly rough school (for London, may be considered 'very' rough elsewhere ) and can say I don't remember any tall kid ever getting hassle.

Quote :

I tell you what, you can just feel the threat level in some parts. Like literally, you'll be on a nice-enough high street then you turn a corner and "uh-oh, I do believe i've just shat my self"

south london was my stomping ground on my last 6 month stay, just round the corner from milwall in bermondesy, I know of the feeling of which you speak, my local bank branch was peckham, joy of joys - "do you fackin want sam you fackin scouse cant?!" no one ever ever said to me in a dick van dyke accent because they iz all talkin like ali g now for some reason innit blud, even da white kidz - why haz u got a bastidized jamaican accent you are so pale you iz nearly blue innit? u spotty little twatzzzz

Quote :

I went to a fairly rough school (for London, may be considered 'very' rough elsewhere ) and can say I don't remember any tall kid ever getting hassle.

yes it definitely would, there are rough schools... and then there is London sorry, I mean:

"Landan you muggy norvern cant"



in 6 months I heard cockney accents only about 3 or 4 times, all from cab drivers... a real shame.

"wotcha, any old iron me old china?"

"I lav you I do mary poppins..."

doing a crap cockney accent and then laughin at me own comedic genius - it never bores me, never...

"shat ap you toilet!"

"moi dad used to bag abat wiv dat Weggie Kway, e' woz a right ard barstud"

and then the wonderful danny dyer: "ow do yoou sleep at night when your sleepin under the same wooof as sam of the countwies most dangewous men? - ooooo er, they touch me pwivates in the night so they do gav'nor!"


I am laughing so hard right now a tear just rolled down my face, pathetic isnt it?

ah well, small minds small pleasures

You're as bad as my uncle in Liverpool. He laughs his cock off doing that terrible cockney accent. He's obsessed with the fact we say rolls instead of balms. So every time I see him he says "Alwight mate, fancy a rawl?" He's got that typical scouse mustache too.... but no curly hair. But i've got another uncle who still dons the occasional shell suit!

When we meet in the Pool of Liver (or even in the Head of Birken) I'll introduce you and you can spend the whole day doing that crappy accent. Although, it's not as bad as when southerners try to do scouse and end up sounding like brummies for some reason It really makes me cringe.

(you realize all our non-brit friends are reading this right now going )

As for that like, random bastardized Jamaican accent, blad... I have no idea! I just know that my generation is the last to have any hint of the 'original' london accent left in it. Any younger than me, and you iz like eeva posh and shit, or you like tawk like diss innit.

By the way...

Quote :

"shat ap you toilet!"

WHAT THE BLEEP? You've gone and made up a some of your own cockney slang there laa!

Richie quote:
"... because they iz all talkin like ali g now for some reason innit blud, even da white kidz - why haz u got a bastidized jamaican accent you are so pale you iz nearly blue innit? u spotty little twatzzzz"
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Lorks a lordy that acey racey gurt lush and minty. Made my day

Quote :

When we meet in the Pool of Liver (or even in the Head of Birken) I'll introduce you and you can spend the whole day doing that crappy accent. Although, it's not as bad as when southerners try to do scouse and end up sounding like brummies for some reason It really makes me cringe.

yeah its mad that, and they talk through their teeth, like all scousers walk around talking like they are chomping on a leather bit with a back tooth lisp "likessssh datshhh" -

my theory is the brummie thing is just an out of date percpetion of the accent, maybe from the 60's, older scousers do talk a bit softer and slower and a bit more brummie-esque, like they talk on those dreadful beattles films, I got some mates from toxteth and speke who sound a little it like that to my wooly ears:

"Eeeeeee yuzzer nor even scouse, yuz a fochin' woooool dich 'ed"

"yes, yes my love, just get in the taxi before anyone I actually know sees me taking you home"



wake up and they a perfect orange outline of where they slept on your bed

I love scouse birds

Quote :

Richie quote:
"... because they iz all talkin like ali g now for some reason innit blud, even da white kidz - why haz u got a bastidized jamaican accent you are so pale you iz nearly blue innit? u spotty little twatzzzz"
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Lorks a lordy that acey racey gurt lush and minty. Made my day