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Posts : 25
Join date : 2008-05-20

PostSubject: Nervous around people   Wed May 21, 2008 4:03 pm

I notice when im out if i see just more than one teenage lad whether im with friends or not i'll automatically feel nervous and ready, almost paranoid. I'll avoid eye contact and just look away from them, am I right to feel like this or is there a way of dealing with this? And this has probably been covered but I've only seen the youtube videos, How do I actually apply a skill in a real fight, i find once the adrenaline gets going everything just goes. Thanks. And the videos are great Richard
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Richard Grannon
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Posts : 1825
Join date : 2008-02-18
Location : KL

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Wed May 21, 2008 7:56 pm

sounds like you have a little does of Social Anxiety Disorder mate... otherwise called shyness! totally normal in teenagers, try saying hello to the people you find scary, ask them the time or some other innocuous question and get used to the interaction- never, ever do this if you feel your safety is genuinely threatened, its just a way of getting over paranoia.... obviously Very Happy
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Ben



Posts : 63
Join date : 2008-02-19
Age : 28
Location : Birmingham

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Thu May 22, 2008 9:23 am

I used to be like this with everbody, but I have gotten a lot better in the last few months. I have really been focusing hard on building my confidence up, and although I have built it up quite a fair bit, I still feel I have quite far to go.

Nowadays I walk past most people and dont get the nervous feeling, and am perfectly comfortable walking past people in the street. However, I do get the nervous feeling when walking past people who I know are trouble, or who look like they would be trouble. It's pretty annoying actually and I wish I wasn't like it, but I can't help it. When I pass them I dont know where to look, so I normally just look around at various things or stare straight on, and I worry about the way I look, move etc. It's all just self conciousness, which I plan to overcome in time.
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AdamM



Posts : 261
Join date : 2008-02-19
Age : 44
Location : east midlands UK

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Thu May 22, 2008 12:48 pm

something has come up in my life related to this.

A friend of mine is returning to our home town this weekend for the first time in 7 years. Hes suggested a few old friends get together and catch up. Well, thanks to facebook its grown into a reunion of a dozen or more very old friends, most of who havent seen each other in 10 - 15 years in some cases.

The related bit is a couple of friend who have become a married couple in this time are VERY reluctant to meet up in even a quiet pub, let alone the busy rock pub we used to all frequent.
They say they cant be bothered with busy loud bars, but would rather be able to talk. The pub we are meeting in IS very quiet and we will have no problem catching up. The truth actually seems to be the guy has got it into his head he is a trouble magnet.

When I first met this guy, it was round the pool table in this very rough rock bar I mentioned. he was on his own, wore a denim cut off (it was the late 80s) and was showing of some serious muscles. He carried himself confidentally round this pool table where you needed a very robust image to survive. It turned out he had some TKD & Karate experience. something, or more likely a series of confrontations in the last 10 years or so since I last saw him has made him reluctant to walk in even a quiet old mans pub, just in case he gets started on. Hes totally lost the battle when balancing awareness of personal safety and paranoid fear.

Be aware of your surroundings and dont go to places you know theres a high chance of trouble, but dont get to the state where fear of social situations stops you mixing in society.

I hope I can pursuade him to come out, ao I can talk him into coming training with me.
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JS

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Join date : 2008-05-31

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Sat May 31, 2008 4:00 am

Nav I've got the same thing and have been this way for years. I listened to the Neuro Linguistics for Enhanced Combative Performance CD and it's made a huge positive change and difference for me. Thanks for that Richie and I also agree your vidz, dvd's and cd's are awesome. I am looking forward to getting the new ones and spreading the word to all my friends.
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cal8116

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Posts : 25
Join date : 2008-04-17

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:50 am

i was the same when i was 15-18ish, one thing that helped me was working in a cornershop as all the shit of the day seems to drift in and your morality kicks you into being polite. But it also gives you the asertive edge you need to say 'oy mate you need to buy that if you intend to read it' stuff as simple as that gives you a good boost. Also adds to your arsenal of ways to speak to different age groups and social circles. And it is generally a very safe environment to practice these kind of things, also slight of hand when smackheads are not going to be counting their change and you want a can of redbull by way of a tax rebait by way of short changing a smackhead whos not going to be counting the 4 quid change in 20p's you just gave him.
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chulodogo

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Posts : 94
Join date : 2008-07-22
Age : 39

PostSubject: affraid of crowd   Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:34 pm

affraid


Last edited by chulodogo on Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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daringdoer



Posts : 40
Join date : 2008-07-12

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:35 am

Same problem here with attractive women like Keeley Hazel...mmmm...soft skin...cherry lips...so kissable
W
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Lonewolf333



Posts : 63
Join date : 2008-06-17

PostSubject: Re: Nervous around people   Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:34 am

If you realize one day your going to die and come to terms with that. Accepting death and not being afraid of it, you will not be that nervous in social situations.
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