Zen Poetry, Thug Haiku

here is my first attempt at a Haiku, a type of traditional Japanese poem, which consists of 5, 7 then 5 syllable verse

usually something whimsical and nature related like this

Quote :

No sky
no earth - but still
snowflakes fall

by Hashin

or this

Quote :

The first soft snow!
Enough to bend the leaves
Of the jonquil low.

by Basho

or this

Quote :

A mountain village
under the pilled-up snow
the sound of water.

by Shiki



I just created my first Haiku as a means of overcoming my frustration an hour or so ago whilst being forced to listen to some horrible individual fill the air with their verbal vitriole. I was contemplating the existence of people with Toxic Narcisstic Personality Disorder ("assholes").
What makes them this way?
How best to deal with them?
A little water feature happened to be bubbling away behind me where I was at the time which added a pleasant Zen element to this idiots loud obnoxious ranting so I decided the best way was to accept the TNPD sufferer (untamed inner asshole) as part of reality in that very moment in true Zen style.

In my mind I went through a modified version of the Diamond sutra: as I am breathing in I know that you are an asshole, as I am breathing out I know that you are an asshole. An asshole is what you are. I do not fight the reality of your being an asshole. I accept it.

And then I wrote this Haiku:

Quote :

some folk are assholes
this truth blossoms eternal
ears ring loud fart sounds

Quote from Richie:
some folk are assholes
this truth blossoms eternal
ears ring loud fart sounds


you sir, are a god...go and take your seat among the immortals

The threat manifests
Smiling nonsense or preempt
OODA loop broken

ha! nice Maija, ok,my effort at thug zen:


keep stepping closer

my fist longs to stroke your face

will you cry after?



... a whimsical tale filled with unfulfilled longing

your spit hits my face
your laughter drowns out my tears
i throw a grenade

uhm...it's a work in progress

Russell Sage wrote:

your spit hits my face
your laughter drowns out my tears
i throw a grenade

HAHAHA! thats awesome

You are a right cunt
Prepare for penetration
As my fist flies forth


Possibly the first Haiku to incorporate the C word?

Slag34 wrote:

You are a right cunt
Prepare for penetration
As my fist flies forth


Possibly the first Haiku to incorporate the C word?

there is something vaguely death metal flavoured about your haiku, I like it

kicks off with a punch
boy will he be sorry now
sleepy time comes soon

grab pike maul smash punch
hammerfist elbow elbow
shove knee knee stomp stomp

a haiku for MJ:

i die and find hell
michael jackson is satan
my arse really hurts

i dodge from his grip
like a skelleton he falls
his gloved hand breaks off

i go and eat chips
i order some mushy peas
i find out it's puke

You're a bad man Russ, a bad man ...

[this and more children's haiku later]

oh little booger
how i long to pick you out
and flick you somewhere



[bill clinton's love haiku to hillary]

hillary you bitch
you took my last heineken
fook you forever


[haiku for sheep farmers--excluding RichB of course, nudge nudge, wink wink]


baa baa my black sheep
i've been watching you a bit
[explicit language unable for viewing]

okay, okay...i know...time for me to get back to work and stuff. crikey i need a pint, a milky
bar, and perhaps a beano comic. that's about where my heads at tonight lads--sorry