Heston,
without knowing any more than what you told me. it makes me think from the personal perspective of being a bit cold in my extremities--maybe at times more than most. things that keep my blood circulating: spicey food and caffeine. things that return my confidence: extremity warmth: nice gloves; serious hat; warm shoes. perspective: they're probably cold too. walking faster makes you warm; idling about or sitting and pondering in the cold moonlight doesn't. also, maybe just me, but since my fist techniques have gradually been weened off, and replaced by palm stuff...i no longer have that
awkward feeling that if i can't make a fist that it will affect me psychologically. i'm thinking also about elbows, head control and moving someone back and putting them off balance. as i say, this maybe my interpretation of your dilema but i've been there before thinking, "crikey my hands are frozen stiff". this thought used to annoy me because i put alot of stock into hand skills. nowadays, if i feel a bit 1/2 turned on, i notice the thought of really plowing into someone and mandling them through headcontrol, elbows and palm stuff--especially the hook, puts me at ease because i have certain techniques that i do better than others and those are the ones i carry around in my head primarily to tilt the scales of comfort/confidence.
Richie's violence-mindset really helps too. there are moments that i'm not really noticing right away that a mild (sounds silly maybe but i'm serious) growl is gathering almost inaudibly in the back of my throat and gradually replacing everything else. as a humorous aside, my dogs notice it when i'm frustrated and run upstairs. believe it or not, i'm not actually advocating growling (i just wouldn't be able to keep a straight face)--i'm just trying to convey that cultivating a mindset that almost can draw on violence sometimes has a forgiving way of drowning out other lessor emotions like fear. almost as if one can easily be replaced and feed the other. i'm not sure but that's what it feels like, and the expression that translates that for me starts with said slow inward growl--not necessarily something that you or anyone else would relate to or try. in short, i'm attempting to convey the idea, rather than the technique which may be personal to me.
so for what it's worth: i'm saying dress warmly; think of things you do well and bring confidence; cultivate some kind of trigger to violence that you are able to turn on. other than that, i feel like thinking about it any more just is too much thought (personally). hopefully you'll have run through previously what you may do in a one on one; two on one; multiple on one. even if for a short road map that serves nothing more than to not have you at odds with the circumstances. my humble take anyway.
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