Need some help

Hi all, Having watched Richard's great videos on youtube I thought I would come to his site and register on the forums. (Prepares to pan out my life story lol) Basically when I was 13 I got jumped (twatted, fucked up, beat up whatever phrase you want to use) by 2 guys, I later found out they were in their 20's. This ate away at me for 3 years and still does to this day (I am now 16), I couldent go outside, I was depressed all the time, I couldent go to school (Waaahaay! only joking, stay at school kids! ) it was a shit stage in my life. Two years ago I started to see a psychiatrist and to a certian extent this helped, I was out and about more often. I started Kickboxing 3 months ago and it is like a second home to me now, I absolutly love it and would recommend it to everyone, not just Kickboxing but any sort of MMA. The reason I am telling you all of this is the reason why I started this thread, I am starting college on Monday and have received threats from lads who think they are the dogs bollocks. I am entering that stage again in my life but trying hard not to because I am going to college to try and socialise and make friends again. Although I love Kickboxing I don't beilive I would be strong enough to avoid getting my arsed kicked, mentally there is no chance whatsoever, I feel nervous just thinking about it. I am sick of other people ruining my life when I have not deserved it and its time to act. No I am not going to go into college and kick 10 shades of shit out of someone, I just want to be reasured in myself that if something does happen, in my mind I would know I could deal with it so then I wouldent be nervous and a good target for bullys. Is there anything out there of Richard's that could help me? I know most of his stuff is for 21's only but there isnt really anywhere else to look.

Thanks, Josh.

Nav wrote:

whats the lads reason for threatening you anyway? i cant really give you a decent answer you'll have to wait for ritchie or bohdi or another person on here who knows their stuff.

The threats was from my ex's mates. The reason they came up with threatening me was "you have been making up loads of shit about us" which is the shittest excuse on this planet because I wouldent even dare to do something like that.

train hard, eat much.

that will work

chulodogo wrote:

train hard, eat much.

that will work

Wish it was as simple as that but lifes a bitch lol

Richie's response will carry with it the weight of more wisdom--than i, no doubt...even if it's a sort of 'out of my element' answer. but
i think alot on my time at that age...you said yourself, you don't have it all yet inside, and you're at school. life is about learning. some
lessons are harder than others. forget them, don't look for trouble, let it come to you. if it does, be memorable as someone who doesn't
back down--if pressed only (not if you can walk away). it's more memorable in the young-lad scheme of things. and the mental lesson
that it has for you will be nice, down the road as your skills increase.
walk away, but if you can't try and be mentally tough. and who cares who wins. people will remember mental toughness. i was a small town
chew toy. my claim to fame was that alone. and people still remember me for it.
stay safe.

Russell Sage wrote:

Richie's response will carry with it the weight of more wisdom--than i, no doubt...even if it's a sort of 'out of my element' answer. but
i think alot on my time at that age...you said yourself, you don't have it all yet inside, and you're at school. life is about learning. some
lessons are harder than others. forget them, don't look for trouble, let it come to you. if it does, be memorable as someone who doesn't
back down--if pressed only (not if you can walk away). it's more memorable in the young-lad scheme of things. and the mental lesson
that it has for you will be nice, down the road as your skills increase.
walk away, but if you can't try and be mentally tough. and who cares who wins. people will remember mental toughness. i was a small town
chew toy. my claim to fame was that alone. and people still remember me for it.
stay safe.

Cheers for the responce. I am not currently at school, I have college on Monday (first day). I know what your saying about being young and still learning but it has effected me for 3 years and I need to get mentally tough. I am not looking to start fights, the total opposite. Like I said in my first post, I want to be mentally tough so if anything does happen I will know in myself that I can deal with it and try and walk away. I am very nervous at the moment going to college and stuff so I am an easy target for twats (also known as chavs).

Well before any physical response or whatever, what will keep you safe is awareness.

Learn to become aware of your surroundings. I will try to find a website that has some good awareness information. Because they can explain it better than me.

Awareness is what has kept me safe more than anything.. the awareness of whats going on, what is about to happen.. so I can deal with it earlier.. the earlier you deal with something the better and easier it is.

Ok a good site is.. Marc Macyoungs site..

www.nononsenseselfdefense.com

What got me started about 6 years ago is his book "Cheap shots, ambushes and other lessons" I really recommend you get it.. have a look on amazon.com or you may be able to find it on other places. If you have trouble then pm me.

But for now have a look at his site and also something for you to practice which is better than having lots of info and doing nothing with it.

For a week or so pretend you are a mugger or an attacker and imagine where you could hide, how you could attack people, notice if people are aware or unaware.. and you will learn awareness and the potential danger spots where you could be attacked, this will help alot.. try it and post what you discover.

-Ben

I second that. Marc MacYoung's stuff is pretty good. Violence, blunders and fractured jaws is also heavy on awareness. I think the mugger exercise is from that book.

Anxiety, particularly as it relates to a stressful period in one's life, along with the accompanying depression this can bring, can be a complete bitch to get over.
The most important thing to remember during this is that, it is not down to personal weakness on your part, that you feel this way. Many times, such incidents as you describe cause a shift in brain chemistry, something which all the will in world can't combat. Sort of like asking someone who has just downed a bottle of scotch to walk in a straight line. All the will in the world won't enable them to do it.
Counseling, and pharmaceutical help in the form of anti-depressants and beta blockers (reigns in the effects of adrenalin) can help with the bio-chemical side, which is beyond will alone to control.
Beyond that, that you have undertaken training is an excellent thing. I would recommend though, you seek out more RBSD applications. With these, or at least the good one, you will go through scenario roll play where you will get to experience actual assault dynamics just as you have already faced, and fear (quite naturally) facing again. This repeated exposure, will, over time, desensitize you to great degree to the adrenaline/anxiety you will feel in such a situation.

Josh

Mate that sucks, I hated school, I hated being that age... it gets better mate honestly.

I cant recommend DVDs or CDs to you mate and I cant really advise you, as you are 16. I really do sympathise and wish there was more i could do for you.

Maybe you can take some comfort from knowing that I went through very similar experiences at your age. Its very frustrating like being caught in a Catch 22 of needing and wanting to the right thing and play by the rules, but knowing the people targetting you suffer from no such qualms.
This feeling drove me to study martial arts, which were mainly useless other than giving me an interesting insight into history and culture, which is what led me to this point here today; chatting to you from some sort of position of authority on the subject when it only seems like yesterday that I wake up to another day dreading what I would be facing.

Its impossible to advise you properly on an open forum, pm me if you have further questions.

Richard, an exceptionally honest answer. One that shows integrity and compassion.