Cesar Milan aka The Dog Whisperer

I noticed Richard mentioned him in " How to handle Verbal Confrontation" on facebook, as an avid fan of dogs and the show i suggest anyone to watch it who is intrested in psycology. Although the is a difference between us and our four legged friends, Cesars basis is more about animal psycologly from what ive seen but his passion is dogs. But we are animals at the end of the day arent we, much can be learned i think, im certianly no expert mind, far from it.

Guess i should of introduced my self first lol, Im Scott living in surrey at the moment, as a kid was a keen martial artist although off and on, starting at about 5 with kung fu for about a year then about 7 or 8 started karate for about 2 years, nijitsu for about 6 months then a lay off until about 13/14 and intermitently did some wing chung and karate again for about 18 months. Now ive found this site its really got me keen again

Cheers

Scott

Hi Scott,
Welcome. I have trained Police, Personal Protection and Security dogs for many years and follow the same principle as Cesar. Perfect example of the power of the mind and what it can do. Dogs are psychological experts, they work out who is alpha and if no one fills the role, they will, pack leaders. Thats one of the advantages with dogs, they cannot understand what you are saying as they simply respond to sounds. From this it gives you a perfect chance to practice your psychology. Like with Self Protection, you learn to keep a calm/clear state of mind. Invaluable in a confrontation. This specifically applies to a mentally tough dog as if you cannot control them mentally....you might as well stop right there. As if you become physical, so will they (ie bite you). And not a little nip, I mean a full mouth back of the jaw grip. As you say, much can be learned from our four legged friends. Bit random….might be wrong forum lol!
Regards
Nick

Hi Nick

Maybe it is the wrong forum lol. What a job that must be awsome.

But the main thing i was thinking about when i saw you mention his name Richard was forget that he is dealing with dogs, its the people in the show that he teaches to be calm assertive, dominant, in control etc etc THE PACK LEADER of either dogs or people, i think thats something everyone can learn from and put in to our everday lives.

Another thing i started thinking about a couple of years ago after watching his show was that he had been talking about weak/negative energy in A (i say "A" dog or human, bear with me) pack it will be eradicated be that leaving the pack member to fall behind, attack it so it leaves the pack or kill it. Now think to that kid at school that was the weak energy and was picked on??or the guy in the pub tucked in the corner that some how managed to get beaten up (physically or verbally )?? do you understand where im coming from?
I dont know how true this is, or how its linked, im no expert and its my own observation, with any pack animal ive seen humans too, and i think thats a basic animal thing, i guess survival of the fittest maybe?

Sorry guys if this is going to for on a tangent for the forum just say and ill stop lol.

Cheers

Scott

rockinscott wrote:
teaches to be calm assertive, dominant, in control etc etc THE PACK LEADER....."without" weak/negative energy

Long story short, thats my point to. Sorry I love my job....I go off on one:lol!:!! Sorry rich !! The animal kingdom are experts at this, as scott said, something we could all learn.

rockinscott wrote:

Another thing i started thinking about a couple of years ago after watching his show was that he had been talking about weak/negative energy in A (i say "A" dog or human, bear with me) pack it will be eradicated be that leaving the pack member to fall behind, attack it so it leaves the pack or kill it. Now think to that kid at school that was the weak energy and was picked on??or the guy in the pub tucked in the corner that some how managed to get beaten up (physically or verbally )?? do you understand where im coming from?
I dont know how true this is, or how its linked, im no expert and its my own observation, with any pack animal ive seen humans too, and i think thats a basic animal thing, i guess survival of the fittest maybe?

It is our basic instinct to attack weak leaders and sometimes weak pack membes as they threaten the survivability of the group. Think of the "code red" scenarios portrayed in Full Metal Jacket /A Few Good Men where US marines will ritualistically beat a weak member of the team. We used to do it in boarding school if someone in our dorm got us all on "fatigues", they would receive beatings. Basic pack mentality.

I answered a question like this from a friend of mine recently in middle managament on the facebook streetfightsecrets group

https://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=32246516024

Quote :

I have had issues with my personal security / confidence for some time now and it's basically this :

I am a really nice guy and I want people to like me. Although I can stand up for myself I find this hard because I don't want to be confrontational and for the other person to think bad of me. I realise this is utterly ridiculous (I am thirty for f***'s sake ! I guess I should have dealt with this by now. The problem is that it's starting to affect my professional life. I am moving into senior management soon and I worry that with these issues I won't be an effective manager. Although, sometimes I think being "the nice guy" is an asset in business (people respond more to nice people than to arseholes) there are many times in business when you need to be firm / strong and I really find this difficult. I let people disrespect me because I almost don't like having to correct them - as I see this as confrontational. It's almost as though I let them take chunks from me because it's easier than correcting them.

Help ! I realise this isn't the normal SFS topic (sorry if this is not appropriate to this group Rich - scratch if needed) but I think it has a strong physcological element so I thought I would post it anyway - cheers guys (and girls) !

I think a lot of what we discuss in SFS is based in mind not muscle (although clearly muscle helps!) so I thought I'd post it ...

Quote :

Actually this is a normal SFS topic: I teach people to be confident in the face of high stress situations

You might think that fighting/ violence is different in terms of psychological stress than going for a promotion, making a sales pitch or confronting someone in work.... but it isnt!

There is a field of study called psychoneuroimmunology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoneuroimmunology) that is focussed on how the mind affects the body and particularly the immune system.
According to this field of study there are elements of your brain and body that CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A REAL THREAT AND A PERCEIVED THREAT.

What are the implications of that? It means that your body COULD create the same biochemical "stress cocktails" inside you when facing a work based verbal confrontation as it would if you were attacked in the street!

Its really not what happens to you but how you interpret it and react to it that counts.

You could say "well what if you get a black eye?"- I can tell you from bitter personal experience, physical injuries are a minor inconvenience compared to the wounds inflicted on the psyche and the ego!

So I take questions like this pretty seriously. After all they could be life or death. To the extent that long term they can leas to severe psychological problems like depression, addictive or self destructive behavior patterns all of which can drive a person to seppuku or an early grave due to an overstressed over worked immune system.

"Being Nice"- is what we were brainwashed to do since birth for the convenience of the adults in our environment and the system we were born into.
"Being Nice" has NOTHING to do with any worthwhile human traits whatsoever. Its about social obedience plain and simple.

I can recommend some material for you here mate I have a CD on Verbal Confrontation on my website. I will post the article that goes with it on this group.

I can also recommend the Supra States CD series, its about developing a separate persona that can cope with things that your normal personality cant... in this CD the focus is on violent confrontation, but you could easily convert it to create a persona that had all the attributes you are looking for and has excellent skills in the areas you need them.

"I let people disrespect me because I almost don't like having to correct them - as I see this as confrontational. It's almost as though I let them take chunks from me because it's easier than correcting them."

Mate, you also need to go and log into youtube and search for Cesar Milan "the dog whisperer" and get to grips with his concept of being a pack leader amongst dogs.
Humans in groups in the workplace are pack animals. There is a pecking order. It is not necessarily kind. If a person is in a position of authority and shows weakness it is our genetic imperative and pack instinct to take them out. A weak leader threatens the survival of the group. So by overtly displaying "Nice Guy" behavior patterns you are actually making them feel threatened and insecure.
That feeling will manifest as reactive aggression... and who do you think will be the target? The source! Which is you.

Let me be plain. PEOPLE DONT WANT NICE. They say they do. But they lie. To themselves. They want STRONG.
Im not saying you should go into work and start kicking ass. That isn't what true Alpha's of the group do in animal packs. You need to show what Cesar Milan refers to as "Calm Assertive Energy"- the attribute of a "Pack Leader".

Dont try and be friends with your underlings, they will appear to love it short term but they will hate you for it eventually. Be strict and assertive and they will seem to hate it short term but will respect you for it in the long term.


Damn! I think I just wrote something intelligent. Do you get much money for management training? More than teaching people eye gouging? hahaha!

http://www.streetfightsecrets.com/verbalconfrontation.html

http://www.streetfightsecrets.com/6.html

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Post #3
Richard S Powell replied to your poston Jul 2, 2008 at 6:45 AM
dude , that was like totally fuckin' awesome. of course i will take all of the advice you have dispensed and i'll get back to you with a much more detailed response soon. u are the man (although i bet you already know that really, don't you ?).

I also took your other piece of advice and purchased "games people play" Eric Berne, M.D. (this morning!) and I'm about to dive in. Mate, one day you will be teaching more than a few thousand - you are destined for great things my friend.

Thanks a million, really. I'll come back to you when I've looked at the material you recommended. Speak soon my friend.





Post #4
1 reply
Richard S Powell replied to your poston Jul 2, 2008 at 8:18 AM
Just a very quick after-thought rich - I was watching the dog whisperer and something that appears to be a common theme (and something I thought myself some time ago) is that, just like dogs, humans actually want a leader don't they ?

I know it sounds a tad extreme, but we (well, most of us) actually want to follow someone / be told what to do / be lead. Would you agree with this statement or am I way off the mark ?!!




You replied to Richard's poston Jul 2, 2008 at 11:51 AM
Yes human behavior and drives at their most basic and unconscious and therefore powerful will be mirrored at a genetic level in animal behavior. Like evolutionary echoes. Dogs, Monkeys, Humans all pack animals dont just "want" leaders they NEED leadership and structure in order to operate in a healthy way.

Look at what happens to kids who lack leadership.

this is great stuff, I could talk about this kinda thing all day and night, shame i hate typing lol.

Scott