Ever since I started doing the Core Visualisation and Supra States stuff, I've been treated with a lot more respect than I usually did. Granted, it's a bit of a pain to want to attack everything in sight lol, but it's a GREAT excercise in self control as well. Don't get it wrong, I don't walk around acting or looking "tough", but what I think I did is create such a nasty, nasty, nasty charachter that lives inside of me that nobody wants to find out what that looks like lol. Also, my walk and everything else has gotten more sexy for some reason lol. Before all this, I walked around humble usually, I would consider myself a decent person, I try not to infringe on peoples space and I don't try to ruffle any feathers (I guess you can say that's not such a good thing nowadays, since nobody really cares about that) the point is I have a conscience and am well socially conditioned. However, just today I was walking out of my job and I accidentally looked at my reflection in the mirror, and what I saw was just jaw-dropping...I looked...very fucking sexy. LOL
Yeah, ever since I've been doing this kinda psychological stuff with my training...women won't leave me alone. As a side note, people tend to treat me like I'm some kind of leader and they look to me for their decisions. It's crazy how carrying something so horrible beyond imagination (thats the way I created it) can actually ELEVATE your social status??? LOL. Bullies don't bother me as much, the kind of "bully" I attract now a days is more passive aggressive. Instead of being threatened with immeiate harm or death, I just have a lot of "haters" who seem to envy me (lol that feels good now for some reason, before I didn't like it when people envied me) so they go through great pains to get in the way, while keeping their hands clean and smiling in my face, probably because many of them have tried to "Shoot me down" verbally and they suffered great injuries as a result of my newly learned "gutter talk" lmao...So yeah, now I just have to learn to deal with the more insidious, non-violent kind of bully who just likes to set the social and enviormental conditions in their favor (such as "warning" people against being my friend or "hiding" girls from me lol).
If any of you are curious as to what kind of demon I created, it's fucking amusing lol. The side effects at first were nausea, VERY strong and deep depression - the kind where you can't even cry with tears, so you kind of "dry cry", I forgot how to spell words and speak correctly but now I fixed that, I would involutarily throw all kinds of strikes in my sleep and while I was going to sleep, extreme pompous arrogance (which I fixed, but still comes out), muscle twitches, I broke several car windows in a fit of rage, while training I smashed a glass that was nearby on my training partner (lol, he deserved it) because it happened to be nearby. Before falling asleep I now see all kinds of horrible and ugly looking monsters that defy imagination, all kinds of feces and vomit like creatures with all kinds of dirty wings and spikes, think of the worst nightmare you've ever had times 1,000,000,000,000,000,000...just beyond description, at first scary, now amusing and yes sometimes even pleasant to me. I got so into state one time that I stabbed about 100 holes in my wall with a dagger thinking it was a friend a was mad with at the time...this shit is so powerful that I actually cried and felt remorse as if I really did just kill him...scary part is I did it again, this time thinking it was an enemy that beat me up one time...no remorse, just bliss. The first week I did the visualisations, I had an extremely hard time adjusting socially, I was "too much" for people and always bored...So I took a break for about a month, did it again, more relaxed and now I'm good lol, I can get into state and it's very helpful. BE fucking careful with this shit!
So yeah, be careful guys. If you have nothing to lose and your life is at a point where you are sick of being a victim or afraid, do this shit! You don't have to take it to the level I'm taking it to (I'm taking it to that level because let's face it, the lifestyle I live calls for this level of monstrocity, as long as I don't let it take over) but do it!
I hope this little report has helped anyone thinking about this! It's not a toy...it's fun, but it's seriously not something to mess with unless you absolutely need it.
I have one question...
How do I stop the sabotage of "covert" bullies? They sabotage my social situations but I can't prove it. No matter where I go, there is always someone trying to stop my progress out of envy...how do I stop them or at least still get what I want without being violent?
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