A REQUEST TO DANCE

I JUST COULDN'T MAKE THIS SH&* UP:

THERE ARE THREE--FOUR REALLY BUT THE FOURTH IS A PHYSICS TEACHER AND
SOMEHOW A SUBCONSCIOUS CHOICE WAS MADE THAT THIS WAS BENEATH HIS
EDU[MA]CATION, REALLY PHYSICAL GUYS IN THE SCHOOL: RUSS [INSPITE OF MY
AMOEBIC SHAPE, I CAN AND OFTEN DO MOVE THIS GIRTH]; STILLMAN [MY EQUALLY
SOLID-TUBBY MATE THAT I'VE TRAINED WITH FOR YEARS]; JOE [A LEAD MIDDLE
SCHOOL TEACHER WHO IS ALSO THE BASKETBALL COACH AND AN EX BOXER/WRESTLER].

THEY'VE ASKED US IF WE WOULDN'T MIND BEING BACK UP DANCERS FOR THE TEACHER
BAND.

UHM...

IS IT TOO SOON TO SAY F&** YOU, OR SHOULD I WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE? NOW, CAN
I GO AHEAD AND URINATE ON YOUR DESKS TODAY...OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WAIT UNTIL
I'VE ALLOWED MYSELF A DAY WITHOUT LIQUIDS SAVE FOR ONE ONION SOUP FOR IT'S
AROMATIC QUALITIES? CAN I ASSUME YOU ALL WILL BE NAKED WHILST PLAYING YOUR INSTRUMENTS
AND SINGING--TO ALLOW YOUR FLABBY AND POCK MARKED COLLECTIVE BODIES THE EXPRESSIONS
THEY SO TRULY DESERVE?

LET ME PAINT A PICTURE:
MASS FIRINGS
FURLOUGHS
NO RAISES THIS YEAR
DOCKING MY POSITION BY A THIRD WHAT OTHERS GET AS MY DEGREE IS UNRELATED
TOLD TO BE GREATFUL I HAVE A JOB...

OH AND YES, THERE ARE DANCE PERKS, WHERE WE CAN PERFORM AS AN ORGAN GRINDER'S MONKEY TO
LET OFF SOME STEAM AMIDST THE GUFFAWS OF STUDENTS WHOSE RESPECT I DO HAVE--IN SPITE OF MANY
ATTEMPTS TO THE CONTRARY BY THOSE THAT ARE NOT ON THE FRONT LINES.

I TALKED TO 'JOE' AND WE HAVE DECIDED TO MOUSE CHASE THEM A BIT.
"I WILL DO IT IF JOE WILL"
"I WILL DO IT IF RUSS WILL"
"HE HAS TO SAY YES FIRST"
"HE HAS TO SAY YES FIRST"

Russ the Muss wrote:

"I WILL DO IT IF JOE WILL"
"I WILL DO IT IF RUSS WILL"
"HE HAS TO SAY YES FIRST"
"HE HAS TO SAY YES FIRST"

That's funny... I wonder what other little ways you might be able to add to that little game and really make it a fun time.

roadkill wrote:

I wonder what other little ways you might be able to add to that little game and really make it a fun time.

okay, now you've peeked my interest.

as an aside: in a parallel universe, where my daft twin would leap at the chance to
dance, we'd both still be the worst dancers in all the collective universes. i dance like
a drunk trying to find the quarter in his puke, wearing high heels, on ice, with a sand
bag stapled to his head, etc...

I'd do it!

May I suggest...

Forget SP for a while and spend all spare time leading up to the event perfecting some Micheal Jackson moves and then on the day wow the crowd with your skills.

If anybody asks why you did it... just say "blame it on the boogie"

Actually...

This is perfect for you; MJ combined with your love of Bollywood

Sharif H wrote:

I'd do it!

May I suggest...

Forget SP for a while and spend all spare time leading up to the event perfecting some Micheal Jackson moves and then on the day wow the crowd with your skills.

If anybody asks why you did it... just say "blame it on the boogie"

Actually...

This is perfect for you; MJ combined with your love of Bollywood

fekkin brilliant

only i'm the second guy, and after the first pelvic grope i'd fall through a wall and crush
one of the students. there'd be sirens, paramedics, and media vans parked outside.
but on the plus side i'd get that contract with bollywood i always dreamed about