wow. i don't care how much you hate your job, no comes out of a robbery not feeling
violated in terms of self worth. [regarding the axe]. when i did security in a retail shop
in georgetown/DC, i had to attend a neighborhood crime thing hosted by some of the
property owners and the local cops. i ALWAYS remember when a string of robberies
were happening there, by a guy that kept being discribed as looking like tv's 'Martin'.
one retail guy came forward to discribe having to help tie up his co-workers and have them
sent to the basement. the act of making him the robber's bitch/assistant clearly fooked up
this guy for years to come.
he was the product of the act, it defined him. he was bitter to the core like someone who's
manhood was stripped. in his mind he presumably was part of the problem as the assistant.
the psychological damage was profound.
i see axes and such and think about that guy, what it's doing to folks. some would just react
[in DC were bureaucratic apathy abounds] with a shrug, maybe even a smirk. 'take it, i don't
give a fook'. i know it. many folks here have nothing and don't identify with losses such as this.
those that have a little more going for them, i worry about on that emotional scar level.
the others i worry about to for obvious reasons. shell shocked and numb...can't say what it is doing for them--whether they're disassociating and hence free of the pain, or so far down the line that going up would mean feeling pain.
that guy Ben/Dominance had some kind of an experience involving a nut with an axe entering the
home of the girl he was seeing. i bet he hasn't seen this yet or i'm guessing it'd provoke some kind
of a response. he faired well--according to his long ago post on [i think] this forum but definitely on the senshido one.
coffee's wearing off because i don't...feel...like...writing...any...mo*******
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