Fear in/of public

so, i got a problem. i have listened to the psychology violence series and have been getting it a lot out of it, yet, i still get nervous when i'm about to go out and public or even just think about being around people. i have more self confidence when it comes to actual combat than i have confidence just being around people...i don't know why this is...and it fucks me over, it makes it so i can't relax if i'm in public. i feel extremely paranoid and shifty around people. i often just feel like people are going to attack me for no apparent reason or someone will just try to fuck me over in some way. i don't know if this is considered a fear of violence or if i am just fucked in the head...can anybody relate/help. are there any cds that cover this or am i just not being patient enough with the psychology of violence series? i have also purchased but have not yet listened to: supra states, neuro linguistics for combative performance, offensive psychology, and verbal conflict. can anybody help? do you have any input Richie?

thanks,
Bodhi

p.s. this is an on and off thing. some days i feel a lot more confidence than others. some days i can be in public and be relatively relaxed and calm but other days i feel like i can't relax in the least and that if i let my guard down i will get fucked over in someway...

This is my old avatar. but its not me!

Do you know who you represent with that picture??

soo, or youre an angel, or you take the picture of this forum a few days ago.

i hope you can stand for it.

too wich chapter you are related?

it can make people angry , and yeah, then it is logical you have to walk scary on the streets.

BhodiK- can u let us know what is happening please mate?

sounds like social phobia or social anxiety, look it up or go to a doctor

Bhodi- Ive removed the avatar mate

Richard Grannon wrote:

Bhodi- Ive removed the avatar mate

thats fine. i don't know what the big deal is with the avatar. but its your site and you have that right. anyway, can you give me any input on my post? and possibly explain the thing about the avatar? i am confused. thanks.

i saw something saying 3 can keep a secret if two are dead but the 2nd posters reply suggests differently

Nav wrote:

i saw something saying 3 can keep a secret if two are dead but the 2nd posters reply suggests differently

is there something on this forum that limits or excludes certain avatars? i think i'm missing something

Its a hells angels flag, the punishment for flying the flag of a chapter you dont belong to can be death

please dont nick each other's avatars OR put gang signs/videos up on the forum

Richard Grannon wrote:

Its a hells angels flag, the punishment for flying the flag of a chapter you dont belong to can be death

What is a hells angels flag? And what does "flying the flag of a chapter you don't belong to" mean? Is that some kind of slang? Sorry for the stupid question, but I just need to understand better

you could try googling hells angels... be proactive and investigate... further your understanding of human behaviour as it pertains to violence

there is plenty of info out there- now go look!

Alright, I tried my luck and know that they are a motocycle gang, but about the rest I couldn't gather any info. Doesn't matter, I don't think it's that important.

Next time I'll google directly

Richard Grannon wrote:

Its a hells angels flag, the punishment for flying the flag of a chapter you dont belong to can be death

please dont nick each other's avatars OR put gang signs/videos up on the forum

shit. i didnt know that thats what that was, my bad. can you give me any input on my original post? thanks richie

Quote :

have also purchased but have not yet listened to: supra states, neuro linguistics for combative performance, offensive psychology, and verbal conflict. can anybody help? do you have any input Richie?

1. listen to the cds and do the exercises for a week and get back to me with your results

2.how old are you mate? if you are under the age of 25 you probably just suffer from a bit of Social Anxiety Disorder - totally normal

3. you are not "fucked in the head"- do you have any reasons to believe people will just attack you without provocation? at least you are seeking to get help with and admitting there is a problem, which is a sane reasonable response

Richard Grannon wrote:

Quote :

have also purchased but have not yet listened to: supra states, neuro linguistics for combative performance, offensive psychology, and verbal conflict. can anybody help? do you have any input Richie?

1. listen to the cds and do the exercises for a week and get back to me with your results

2.how old are you mate? if you are under the age of 25 you probably just suffer from a bit of Social Anxiety Disorder - totally normal

3. you are not "fucked in the head"- do you have any reasons to believe people will just attack you without provocation? at least you are seeking to get help with and admitting there is a problem, which is a sane reasonable response

i have gotten two concussions for a minimum of three people jumping me for nearly no reason, which is probably a big reason i am the way i am. i am 18 years old. i have been like this for about three years. i will listen to the cds and get back to you in about a week. thanks Richie.

ok, so you are dead young and traumatised, give yourself time, I and the rest of the people on here will help as much as we can

feel free to ask any questions you might have

Richard Grannon wrote:

ok, so you are dead young and traumatised, give yourself time, I and the rest of the people on here will help as much as we can

feel free to ask any questions you might have

thanks Richie. i really appreciate what you're doing

Hey Bodhi, your reactions are normal even if you dont fully understand them. As my hypnosis teacher once told me: it is a mistake to identify with the victim in this story.

What you are experiencing is a lack of control over interaction with a prospect of deeper control over a narrower context of interaction. No big thing.

Think about how much you could prove, even though you dont need to, how good at control you are. This results in a certain feeling, it transcends physical altercation and forums thereof, it is about moving through the world in a way you are comfortable with, and this has only one purpose: to find and address the ways you are not yet comfortable. It is a kind of growing, albeit a non-normal one.

Think about the sheep in the valley being watched by the wolves on the hill. Sheep can identify themselves by many different ways: even if a wolf were constantly looking at other wolves to make sure he was the same that would still identify him as a sheep. Understanding this results in a non-conformist wolf, and in a binary system of either sheep or wolf then that is bad news. But binary systems are full of shit: even wolves have an identity pack which includes hierarchical behaviour.

At the end of the day it comes down to values: you value currently value one certainty over another. Your focus seems to be safety, which though sensible is deeply unfashionable. You want to know you are safe, if you were a sheep you would know that by eiter avoiding conflict, or starting conflict and resolving it- thus demonstrating your non- sheepness. But that is still the deepest of victim thinking. Your task, though it may be deeply unfair, is to move beyond that.

Someone once said that with great power comes great responsibility. You are now in that category whether you like it or not. I trust that your belief in your physical ability is grounded in some form. The trick is there are actually far fewer wolves than you may think: dont be one of the sheep who needs to constantly demonstrate their superiority over other sheep. No one cares about sheep. The rub is, sheep dont care about wolves who aren't attacking them. You need to learn to live with that in a way that involves letting sheep be sheep without proving it to them.

The Badger

i dont think it has something to do with your sheep and goat story.. because he is nervous around people he said..
so that can be women also..
the best thing he can do is go to proffecional help.
and group therapy.
there he learn to accept and overcome his fears..

the more people try to explain, the less you understand..

my advise to you is to seek professional help
dont go to altanative docters..

they mess with your mind and body even more!! and you end up broke.