Confidence

Hi, i'm looking for material on improving general confidence, theres alot of stuff out there but obviously i'm after something that really works. I don't know if this is richards field or if theres enough of a market for him to produce a cd but i would appreciate your advice. Thanks

Start by telling yourself you are confident, regularly. Regularly remind yourself of your good qualities, and the things you are good at. Ignore the bad things, and certainly dont keep reminding yourself of the bad qualities or things your not so good at. Focus on the positive side of you.

Remember confidence is just a feeling, and a confident person is only confident because they believe they are. The only way to have confidence is by believing in yourself.

my experiences were like this:

indirect road:
act like someone i know who evokes fear in people, he's probably speaking on many levels so role play a bit--not to look for trouble but
to speak on a different level. the reaction i got from others was almost
the same...it started giving me head-starts which made my confidence
grow. it was a twisted kind of inner apprenceship for me. i used to act
like my sensei--i even told my close friends i was going to kabuki theatre class (as a joke) instead of karate. but this didn't convince the core of
me. for that i needed...

direct road:
hard work. the more you do drills. the more you train. the more you hit
the pads like you're trying to really hurt the pads--add a little strength
training. it's a gradual build up that parallels your increasing ability.

this wont measure up to the depth that Richard teaches. but it did make
a difference. sort of attacking the subject from both directions. also, i think alot of men don't realize that losing and running are a part of learning and surviving--respectively. it's okay to be the mean little 's.o.b.' who may not be king of the hill, but you still don't want to mess with.

having said all this. just watching a wee bit of the 'violent intention' cd (on youtube) that Richard put out really made the penny drop for me. it reminded me of what was required...it sort of gave me inner permission to do what was necessary. the truth affects you like that. like that story in the baghavad gita, where the warrior keeps putting down his bow because he thinks right and wrong are not so obvious with the promise of war on the horizon. the prophet in the story sort of gives him the impetus by spelling out why he needs procede. it's a wee bit out of context since the story suggests we draw on rightious action without violent emotion, but i think it is possible to wear the metaphorical inner garb of 'violent intent' and then remove it when the conditions change. that is how the penny dropped for me. to become something frightening for as long as it takes to restore order is a beautiful thing if it comes like a epiphany.

Kevin Hogan has an introduction online here. Click the arrow at the bottom of the page for more http://www.kevinhogan.com/achievement-personal-mastery.htm

Someone mentioned David Lieberman's books. I also recommend him and I'm reading a good book now called Self Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning. There is a big market on this topic so you can find some good material without too much trouble.

I always liked Tony Robbins approach to confidence as something which you DO rather than HAVE... I will do a cd on that at some point.

Technics, in what area specifically do you want more confidence?

as Russell mentioned in his "direct route", if its confidence in your fighting ability and skill, then hard, repetitive physical training is the only route to go mate... no psychological shortcuts can compensate for lack of physical strength, fitness, skill...

well actually in truth it pretty much can, but dont go that route, look for the simple solution!

Richard Grannon wrote:

I always liked Tony Robbins approach to confidence as something which you DO rather than HAVE... I will do a cd on that at some point.

Technics, in what area specifically do you want more confidence?

as Russell mentioned in his "direct route", if its confidence in your fighting ability and skill, then hard, repetitive physical training is the only route to go mate... no psychological shortcuts can compensate for lack of physical strength, fitness, skill...

well actually in truth it pretty much can, but dont go that route, look for the simple solution!

Thanks, its "all round" confidence i'm looking for. Confidence in myself (who i am, acceptance of myself) and , to interact with others, basically to be my best self. I'm guessing when you feel confident with who you are as a person you will also train differently.

Hiya mate

that kind of real, to the bone, all round confidence can only really come with a stronger sense of self... and that can only really come with age and experience... how old are you (if you dont mind me asking)?

You could try and get more varied life experience, work as a doorman or a taxi driver, maybe travel (but not like a middle class twat, go and live in a foreign country for a few months, rather than backpacking around the world, fwar, fwar!)

If you really want deep unshakeable confidence that derives from a powerful sense of self, volunteer as a care assistant in a hospice.

I think your question is really broad. I think you need to break confidence down into subsections and focus on filling each one like jars until you have what you refer to as overall confidence. When you think of confident people you may be thinking of guys like doormen or bouncers or whatever. But if you put one of these guys into an unfamilliar environment like a royal familly tea party where people discuss silly topics like etiquette then they too will feel nervous. Confidence is really based on situation. You could be a leader in a different environment while others who you see as more confident would be submissive.