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 Study: Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected

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maija
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PostSubject: Study: Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected   Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:53 pm

I'm no expert, but I thought it was interesting what they were saying about how not being able to read social cues factors into bullying and social rejection .... though this can't be the whole picture.
http://www.livescience.com/culture/children-social-rejection-100202.html

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PostSubject: Re: Study: Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected   Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:44 am

hmmm, it might be--meaning the bulk of it. the more i think on it, it's what gets dumb ass dogs
into trouble [the unscocialized goofy ones] and people--not acknowledging hierarchy and protocol,
and countries--not quite understanding each other: bowing and looking into the eyes vs. not
looking into the eyes. firm hand shake vs. gentle one. the lists are endless and what is interpreted
as an out and out diss. could be chalked to a bit of dumb.

lakota's traditionally give the limp handshake, my big oaf german musician friend would equate that
with a man-on-man pass Shocked i think i get it. half the reason i worry about my son is that his social
ques are amiss. my partner is a good looking person, who's suma whatever with honors at frickin'
univ. of chicago...but i swear to see her in social situations is painful. she wants to fit in but somehow
attracks the possies of mean girls ousting her. i see it a mile away and can't properly adress it without
hurting feelings.

i had friends growing up with the same. utterly bullseye picked on--males. i usually ended up their friends by default. at the end of the day, i was the only one not using/or bullying them. i reckon my
nature comes not out of philanthropy but rather having a macho version of that as a father--who regularly climbed to the top of some fame-driven ladder, only to pee in the punch bowl and shit on
the host. in the end, all had the same sort of, "brilliant man for a dickhead" reaction to him. social
ques are enormous. my dad even worked for ian flemming early on, and could well have used that as a little resume fluff--but at a dinner toast actually anounced, "you weren't born, you were scraped off a brothel sheet". proud of his drunken scott's temper, and his [the key point] own sense of weird values
uncompromised, he went through life climbing ladders, only to shit on the guys holding him steady at
the bottom. the metaphor,

"hold on guys, hold the ladder, a bit to the left...i'm counting on you...ready...wait for it...
PLOP PLOP PLOP"

like the parable of the scorpian who gets carried across the river by the monk--only to end in them
both drowning for the nature of the venomous one.

i'm more convinced now probably to just see it in print, but i've always suspected it and known what i'm looking at when i see it.

cool post.
scary to reflect. my life is a roadmap of examples i've surrounded myself by. i have a bit of it myself.
when i get close to selling my soul [otherwise known as bending], i keep thugs rather than gents--not
for the values they hold but rather for the idea that i'm aware they appreciate my acceptance of them,
and they make for better students. right up front, i accept the nutters and halfwitts, and in the end they are the only work-horses i've ever known. the balanced lot wont give enough of their intestinal fortitude.
they quite simply question too much. not necessarily a bad thing in general, but i'm not out to preach the gospel and touch people deeply, i'm more of a "just do it, for crissakes" intollerant oaf. a "you'll thank me later, don't make me say it twice shirley". and i suppose at the end of the day, my inner circle is noticibly small scratch

dad:

http://www.wrmea.com/archives/March_2009/0903069.html

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maija
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PostSubject: Re: Study: Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected   Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:51 am

Interesting insights there, Russ. and COOL article about your old man!!
Looks like the old geezer really led a life! Perhaps we wasn't exactly primo 'parenting material', but he certainly was far from being a mediocre human being. I love the fact that his pieces 'routinely upset public figures'. Laughing Laughing

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thugsage
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PostSubject: Re: Study: Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected   Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:58 pm

maija wrote:
Interesting insights there, Russ. and COOL article about your old man!!
Looks like the old geezer really led a life! Perhaps we wasn't exactly primo 'parenting material', but he certainly was far from being a mediocre human being. I love the fact that his pieces 'routinely upset public figures'. Laughing Laughing

yeh, agreed mate. if i never new my mum...
he'd probably be my mentor Laughing when i could
isolate him as a tean [yes tean] it was as it
always was, a beer/a swim in the ocean/some indian-or-vietnamese food/a mouth-ful to
anyone disrupting his ritual.

i used to jokingly refer to him as 'uncle-dad' to others. a big kid--getting in fights till he was
old enough to know better [mostly verbal, but not always until his late fifties]. most people
sort of backed off of him because his intensity was always off the charts. then he'd get in a
irreverant joking state--not sure which was worse, as i'd be cringing in some restaurant as
the 'poof' brought the dinner out. i always imagined people licking and spitting on our food
before it was served. affraid

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